AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Hi,” I decide to talk first.
“Hey. You …okay?” he asks.
“Me bro? You look like shit?” I’m aiming for lighthearted. This is how we usually talk.
He walks closer. “I feel like it. Guess I’m not that far off being shit.”
“I know Mimi told you,” I state. “I know she told you what happened to her.”
“Salvatore… of all the things I’ve ever done in my life I feel the guilt of that the most. It’s something I can’t fix.”
“I agree, but… it’s also something you can’t change. So we either dwell on it or try to make the situation better.” That was on me too. I could either fixate on it and hate him, or try to move past it.
He’s apologized numerous times and acknowledged his errors. I can’t hold this over his head when he’s done all he can to try to fix the mess too.
“You were right, I shouldn’t have gone there with Mimi,” he acknowledges. “She’s like family. She is family. We’ve known her long enough and she’s been in our lives long enough for me to have behaved better with her. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten involved with her right from the start. But I did. ”
I remember the time very well and I could have killed him then too. I kept wondering if they were serious then it looked like they were just fooling around. But every time I looked at Mimi I realized she wasn’t. He was though.
It made me wish I could have taken the step to do what I’m doing with her now well before they got together. It was just a gray area I never thought I should have gone to either. I worried I’d mess up the friendship we had. Then the point came where I knew I wouldn’t. It all went down last year when I first kissed her. That was when I knew I had to have more.
“I’m going to tell Charlotte,” he declares and I frown.
“Is that wise Gabe? It’s not like it happened while you guys were together.”
“She’s my wife, Salvatore. I don’t want any secrets between us. She likes Mimi and the two get on. I don’t want her finding out in some other way and then it will look worse on me. She knows something’s up and I already told her I was with Mimi. I need to tell her everything else. I’ll tell her after the baby comes.” He nods.
I definitely have to give him credit. And respect.
“I think it’s something we’ll each have to move past together,” I state.
“You too? You’ll move past it too brother?” He looks me over. “The reality of the situation is we’re two brothers who were with the same girl. I won’t lie and tell you I didn’t always know you had feelings for her. I just never knew until recently how deep your feelings ran. Or I would have never crossed the line with her. Not even with the shit that happened to me would I have crossed that line with you too.”
There’s an immature part of me that still holds on to jealousy. I know I have to let that go too.
Last night when she told me she would pick me it meant everything to hear it, but part of me holds on to truth.
The truth that she was with him before me and she was having his baby, and was happy. I hold on to those things. That’s on me though. It’s on me and those are the things I need to work past and let go.
He’s looking at me waiting for an answer, so I give it.
“I will… I am. Mimi means a lot to me… you do too but when it comes to her, if you hurt her it doesn’t matter who you are to me.”
He nods. “I hear you. Loud and clear. I see you too. You know, Salvatore…she should know how much you love her.”
Love… I won’t deny it. I won’t be an asshole and deny it. It’s a step I want to take but when she’s ready. I want her to be ready and on the same page as me. She’s getting there.
“Small steps. I have a lot of work to do before she trusts me with her heart.” Right now I have her body. She trusted me with her body and I know it was a big thing for her to do, no matter what she feels for me.
Heart, mind and soul next. I feel like I’m trying to collect pieces of her. And fuck, listen to me. This chick has definitely made me go soft.
He dips his head in agreement. “She will. She already does. My fault she’s being careful. I’m sorry. You’re a better man than me.”
I shake my head at him. “I said this before Gabe and I still mean it. We aren’t different. If I’d had the shit that happened to you happen to me, I know I’d go off the rails.”
He looks at me and he doesn’t comment one way or the other. He knows I’m right again. I would have gone off the fucking rails. They all think Nick’s the wild child. He is, but I’m crazy.
I give the appearance of being even tempered and cool but it doesn’t take much to push me, even when I know there’s some reasoning behind it. Like in Gabe’s situation.
