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Especially what he said about Mom. She wasn’t part of our world and I remember them arguing. She hated the constant threats. The need to keep watch. The threat to me and our family. Dad’s not the everyday mobster but he’s an associate. His links were enough to get him and everybody he knows killed if things went wrong.
It’s enough to hate our way of life.
Dad knows Mom killed herself. He blames himself for it. That’s why he said what he said. He wouldn’t let her go when she wanted to leave. That talk is because he doesn’t want the same thing to happen to me. Or worse.
I know being with Salvatore is dangerous but I never think of it like that and … as for trust…
I trust him.
I do trust him with more than just my body.
My heart, mind and soul do too and those haven’t just come suddenly over the last few weeks we’ve been together.
The time that we’ve been together has made it feel like it was safe to unlock those parts of me.
Yes, I’m still scared from what happened with Gabe. However, I’ve truly, truly been able to trust myself in distinguishing between what happened with him and what I have now with Salvatore.
It’s the real deal.
That’s the difference.
So I have to believe that Dad isn’t right about the distrust, lies or cheating.
Not with Salvatore.
Never. He wouldn’t lie to me or cheat. I know it.
He wouldn’t treat me the way Gabe did. I actually know it.
I know I can trust him, and if I trust him I know he’ll keep me out of danger.
At the thought something unlocks in me and pieces of that wall crumble, allowing me access to what I feel for him.
Trust and love.
Love…
When I think of it now my heart squeezes.
I don’t want my relationship to be like Dad said so I know what I have to do.
* * *
My heart makesme pack up my stuff and go to Salvatore. I head to Giordano’s Inc. and go straight to his office.
His door is open and he’s inside talking with Georgiou who I haven’t seen in months, and Christian.
They don’t see me at first so I linger by the door frame.
Georgiou and Christian are brothers but I swear they could all look like they’re cut from the same cloth as Salvatore. They all have a very prominent look. It’s called handsome.
They all look alike and similar. The differences are very subtle but you can tell they’re all related.
They’re talking about some business contract. Salvatore stands and sees me first. Dressed in his white button-down and tailored pants he looks different to how he dresses for the club.
I smile when I see the wild sexual energy come into his eyes and remember him saying that I’d know when he looked at me that he wanted me. That’s what I see now.
“Hi boys,” I say to them but I’m looking at my boy.
