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It’s just me left.
Me and Pa in the room.
The door clicks shut. And… I take the back of my father’s hand as he hits me across my cheek.
I take it and the next blow to my other cheek.
I stand there and take it respectfully, not retaliating, accepting he’s my boss and my father.
I even fucking stand there when he pulls his gun on me and aims it at my head.
We’re the same height, and since I look a lot like him, I could be staring at a reflection of my older self pointing a gun at me.
I don’t flinch. I don’t breathe. I don’t do anything besides take him seriously.
I know exactly what I did wrong, but I won’t apologize for it.
“What do you think I should kill you for Salvatore Giordano?” he asks. “The fact that you went against my word, the fact that you went out on the streets in a time of shit, unprotected with no back up, or the fact that you took my two sons with you? The three of you out there pissing on my word when the man who killed my eldest child roams the streets laughing at us.”
I move my head in line with the gun, still not flinching.
“Pa… if you’re going to kill me, just do it. Do it. This is all fucked up bullshit if you raised me to be the man I am and expect me to do nothing when trouble comes for us.” That is my answer and all I will say.
He shakes his head at me. “You want to be capo Salvatore? You know what it means to be capo? The first thing it means is following orders and fucking trusting me. You trust that when I say something I have reasoning behind it. You trust me and you come to me and let me handle things the way I always have as boss of the fucking family. Six families rely on me. The Giordanos are like an army and me the general. Things have been the way they have been for the last thirty five years because I have a handle on things.”
“Pa, I know all of that. I know it. Are you seriously going to stand there with your fucking gun aimed at me and act like what I told you isn’t worth anything?” I balk, anger races through me, spiking my nerves.
“Cost and benefit.That is what it’s about. Benefit, we know we’ve been hacked and have bugs coming out of our asses. Cost, we don’t know what shit you might have accelerated with your little rendezvous tonight.”
I press down hard on my back teeth. I want to say that’s an assumption and it still puts us in a good spot but I hold off on saying it.
“We don’t know what shit you might have stirred killing one of their hackers. Salvatore…” When pain comes into his eyes I know none of this is really rational, he’s working on emotion. “Never mind the part about Stephanou Portaleu using my shipping company under my fucking nose but there’s no word on this earth that can express how I’ve felt for the last eight years, looking for that man who killed my boy and not finding him.Thenhearing he came back for two more of my kids. Gunned down in the street like the dogs he thinks we are.” He lowers his gun and I’m shocked to shit when I see a tear run down his cheek.
“Pa—”
He holds up a hand and stops me. “I can’t lose another son, Salvatore. I can’t fucking lose another son to that motherfucking psycho. That is where you’re heading if you keep on the way you are. Just like Frankie. He didn’t listen to me either. He never fucking listened to me. I will not bury you. Don’t ask me to do it.” He swallows hard and grits his teeth. “No I did not raise you to be the man you are today to do nothing when the shit hits the fan, and no you are not just some fucking accountant. I know who you are, all of you and I’m aware this situation may very well call for you to be who you’re supposed to be. I need you to trust me. Trust me to call you in when I need you. That is the way this will work.”
I stare at him, processing his words and understanding him. This is different to any conversation we’ve ever had. I understand him so I nod.
“Okay Pa… I trust you,” I tell him and he nods.
“Be safe, keep your woman safe and lie low until I give the orders to do otherwise.”
“Okay...” I agree.
* * *
His words areon my mind the whole time as I head back to my apartment.
I play them over and over again in my head. They’re a sign that times have changed indeed. Pa’s never talked like that before. Never.
He’s right though. I’m Frankie, but then we all are. Maybe not Vincent. Maybe because he’s had to calm down so he can take the lead.
Fuck… there’s always something. Always some shit blowing in on a storm, and always when things seem good.
I couldn’t be more happy with Mimi but this is danger. This is all fucking danger. The kind she was trying to ask me about.
I get home and that fragrance lingers in the air, tantalizing and teasing. That’s what she does to me.
