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From one to the next, it was something bizarre the rest of the world would frown upon. So, I’m allowed this agreement with Ava if I choose it.
“So, Vinny, what’s the girl really doing here?”
It’s clear from her tone that she doesn’t approve. Women know not to ask those kinds of questions, few like her are the exception.
“It’s business,” I answer, hoping she doesn’t continue to press.
“Business? Vinny, she’s frightened.”
“She should be,” I reply. Just now with Ava was just now. It was fun and sowed the seeds for more I’ll be taking later. I want those breasts in my mouth again, and the taste of her pussy.
Marguerite sighs. She knows I won’t be saying much more than that, so there’s no point trying to push or press. “Whatever it is, please be gentle with her. I sense she’s troubled. She was talking in her sleep.”
I answer with a raised brow. Ava was probably talking in her sleep because she’s worried for her father. I won’t tell Marguerite that I left him chained to a wall, with the worry of his life and his daughter’s hanging over him.
She sees me as the boy she took care off from birth. I’ll keep that image in her head since she’s the only person who isn’t family I trust with my boy. No one else must touch him or be with him.
Her brows knit together when I don’t comment. “How long is she going to be here?”
That’s another question I’m not answering. The truth is, I don’t know. I couldn’t give Ava an answer, and I can’t give it to Marguerite either. She bites the inside of her lip and inclines her head to the side.
“Ava will be here for a while. See to it she eats and is comfortable.” That’s enough.
She shakes her head at me and sighs. She’ll never voice her opinions though. She never has.
She was my nanny and never voiced her opinions in our home when she saw things happening she knew were wrong, like Pa screwing around with the maids and all the shit the other guys and I used to get up to. She won’t now either.
She’s here for support.
When Sorcha was alive, Marguerite came to help out from time to time. After Sorcha’s death, our parents stepped up. Ma was here, and Evelyn, my mother-in-law. I couldn’t bear to have Evelyn here because of the guilt, although no one has ever blamed me. And Ma was just suffocating.
Marguerite is the only person who exists outside of the box.
“It’s a good thing I’m used to you boys and your ways,” she says and blinks several times.
“Yes,” I agree with arrogance I know she hates.
“I’m sure you know best,Boss. Do you want lunch?”
“No. I’m just going to hang out with my boy for a little bit.” At the mention of Timothy, I win back her approval. Her face softens, and she reaches up to tap my cheek.
“I love the way you are with him. So different to the way your father was with you boys. Not that I’m saying anything against your father. It’s just that sometimes a child needs love. Especially during these years.” She runs her hand over Timothy’s downy head as he rests it on my chest.
“I’m trying,” I reply. As she looks back at me, I know she sees it. That thing in the depths of my eyes that’s still broken.
“You more than try, Vinny. You never have to worry that you don’t. Sorcha would be proud of you taking care of him the way you do. It’s the way she was with him.” She nods, and her eyes gloss over with tears.
She’s the only person who mentions Sorcha like that. Everyone else steers away from doing so. I understand why, but sometimes it’s okay to talk about it. They think they’re being helpful, but it’s not always the case. Marguerite talks about her like she’s just gone away.
“That means a lot to me.”
“It’s truth, and may God keep you safe for it, Vincent,” she whispers.
I don’t know why she bothers to bring God into it. I’m just another devil, one who can’t seem to find redemption. Her words will fall on deaf ears.
“Thank you,” I say just to be respectful. “I’m going out in a little while. I’ll be back for dinner though.”
“Okay.” She nods and makes a move to leave us.
