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I close my eyes for a few seconds. “I can’t help it.”
“Vin… the way that fucker came for us, everything was all set in motion to play out exactly the way he wanted it to. Everything. Stephanou wanted to send a message, and he did. He was hoping he’d get to kill you in the end, but that didn’t happen. There was nothing you would have been able to do to save her, because you were already doing everything.”
I’m listening, and I want to believe it. What he’s saying sounds like truth, but I don’t want to excuse my guilt if there was more I could have done to protect her.
“You can always do better.”
Salvatore shakes his head. “No, not when you do your best. You can’t do better when you’ve done your very best, and I watched you with her. You loved her with your soul, the same way you love your child with your soul. They are the same, and you did everything to protect them that day. If you’d been there, Stephanou would have killed you too. You’d be an additional dead body in that house because you would have been vastly outnumbered.”
He holds my gaze and strikes a nerve. I can believe whatever I want, but truth is truth, and he’s right.
Everything he’s saying is right.
“I just… wish it didn’t happen. I wish it never happened.”
“Me too. Me too, Vin. I can’t tell you how much I wish it never happened because we all loved her. We all did, and it was hard to have something as horrifying like her death happen and feel like you can never get justice.”
That’s it. He hit the fucking nail with the hammer. The reason why we can never get justice is that we can’t have what we want.
Her.
Nothing can bring her back.
Salvatore pulls in a breath and continues. “If I feel that way, I can imagine how you feel. What I know, though, is she was always happy, and I don’t think moving on means we should forget that. I think you need to remember how she loved you and how happy you made her. She’d want you to remember those things and live. Not like this, but as the guy she fell for.”
It’s like he’s echoing the words from the video.
I nod, and he stands, putting out his hand to help me up.
I take it, and he pulls me to stand.
He smiles at me. “Come, let’s go.”
I follow him when he takes a step away. I look back once to the grave and promise myself and her that the next time I visit, I’ll be better.
That means I need to try and find myself.
Try to move forward.
Just try…
Chapter Eighteen
Ava
I’ve been listening out for him to come back. I heard when he did. It was an hour ago. It’s nighttime again. It’s not as late as he’s been out, just gone ten.
It’s the first day, though, that I didn’t spend feeling sorry for myself.
I spent it feeling sorry for what I did.
I’ve spent the last hour trying to figure out the best way to apologize. He hasn’t come to see me, and I doubt he will tonight. That doesn’t mean, though, that I shouldn’t see him.
Even if I’m walking dangerously close to disobeying him again.
Gathering my courage, I leave the room and venture out into the passage.
I head downstairs to the office. The second I get down the stairs, the two guards nearby look at me. I don’t pay them any attention though. I keep walking and stop at the end of the corridor when I see Vincent inside his office talking with his brother Salvatore.
