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His family and friends come and go too. All of them.
When the time gets close to a month and Christian’s still in a coma, serious talks start happening that I’m not privy to but I don’t need to be told how serious his condition is. His family’s faces are enough.
I blame myself as always. It was me he came for. He came to save me from the biggest monster of all and I never got to say thanks. I can’t believe the last time we spoke we argued.
It’s morning again and I’ve been sitting beside him for the last hour. The doctors just came to check his vitals and left.
I watch him in a deep slumber and wonder what I can do to reach him.
At midday Vera brings Rosie to see Christian. She said she wanted to see him and the way things are looking she probably should.
We stand together by the bedside watching him. I place my arm around Rosie and she rests her head against my leg.
“Mama will Christian wake up soon?” Rosie asks whispering. She knows to keep quiet when she sees someone asleep. She came to see him once before a few weeks back. Worry is on her pretty little face.
Vera looks visibly crushed at the question and a tear rolls down her cheek.
“I hope so. I hope he does,” I answer. “He’s very sick so it’s a little hard to wake up.”
“I miss him,” she says with a nod.
“Me too.”
Rosie reaches into her little bag and I smile when I see she brought the little egg Christian gave her. The gift he was given by his high school girlfriend. It still grips me to think of the story and the look in his eyes as he told me what happened will always stay with me. I think of it now and how he valued the gift. I think of that side to him he kept locked away and only showed me shimmer of it.
“I want to give this back to him,” Rosie says.
“Why baby? He would want you to have it.” I nod.
“He said it’s something I didn’t have and it would bring me luck. I think he should have it for good luck,” she answers and my heart squeezes.
More tears stream down Vera’s cheeks as I look to her and I can’t hold my own.
“Okay give it to him.”
Rosie sets the egg in Christian’s palm. “For good luck Christian,” she says.
I almost, almost believe he’d wake up at that point but he does.
He doesn’t the day after either and I break down when I see that he’s still the same.
When I thought of walking away I never factored something like this happening.
“I’m sorry we argued,” I say holding his hand. “I didn’t want to leave, but I thought what I was doing was for the best. What I meant to tell you was that I would find it hard to walk away because I love you. I love you and I need you to come back to me because I still can’t walk away.”
I look at his still form and the tears come hard. I don’t how I manage to stop crying and it’s Georgiou that has to take me home.
He tells me to take a break and rest, but I can’t so I go back the very next day.
By night fall I’m so tired I can barely keep my eyes open.
I move closer to Christian and rest my head on the edge of the bed, near his hand.
I just need to rest for two seconds but I fall asleep. Warm fingers caress my hair and I feel safe.
In my dream I’m dancing and I see my mother. Just like always. The music to Swan Lake fills my ears and the steps my mind.
“Wake up Lilly,” Mom says with that smile and the warmth of those fingers stroke my cheek.
