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I can’t imagine the pressure he’s been under. I can’t imagine having to decide between throwing your own mother to the wolves or breaking a heart. I get why he did it, as horrible and cruel as his methods were.
Frankly, I would’ve done the same thing.
“I don’t fucking know how to choose, Vee.” He looks up at me, overwhelmed in every sense of the word. “I… I can’t.”
A lone tear escapes his puppy dog eyes and drizzles down his perfect face, coming to die on his lips.
My heart shatters.
He’s crying.
Instinctively, I seize his face into my palms, the magnetic pull between us too strong to withstand. I clean the tear off his bottom lip with my thumb and mesh my mouth with his so hard you’d think I’m trying to suck him dry, and I am. I want to take his suffering, the criminal mother, the broken family.
All of it.
No doubt.
No hesitation.
I’d sink my own ship to keep him afloat.
But I can’t. So, instead… I give him all of me, and hope like hell that it’s enough. The kiss is messy, raw, wet from all the crying. A low grunt sounds from somewhere deep in his throat, and Xav grips my wrist, guiding me onto his lap.
I settle on top of him, straddling him, and his arms box me in. His tongue darts out to licks the seam of my mouth, and I part my lips for him. Our tongues tangle in a tango the greatest dancers couldn’t match, and I watch my window of opportunity shrink to oblivion. There goes my chance to save myself.
This is temporary.
Weare temporary.
But “temporary” feels too damn good to give up, so I throw myself headfirst into a story with no tomorrow.
I’m not sure how we wind up in his bedroom. All I know is, as soon as Xavier slams the door, his mouth ravaging mine, the need to wipe that pained expression off his face trumps my insecurities. I can practically hear him gulp when I drop to my knees, blinking up at him.
He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, watching as I loop my fingers into the waistband of his black sweats and yank everything down at once—underwear included. His hard length pops out between us. He looks… majestic like this.
Tall.
Naked.
Intimidating.
I’m the one gulping now.
I clasp my hand around his shaft, and he sucks in a sharp, rasping breath at my inexperienced touch. I drag my other hand down his toned body, smoothing over every curve, every muscle, until the tip of my index grazes the outline of his scar. A dark shade of pink, the scar stops just a bit above his crotch.
It looks like it was always meant to be there.
Jesus, even his trauma is beautiful.
It pains me to imagine how he got it.
Kills me to imagine little Xavier getting impaled in a boating accident. I’m aware the scenarios I’m drumming up in my head are most likely ten times worse than the real thing, but it doesn’t stop my spiraling. I certainly wouldn’t win the “queen of subtlety” award because he notices and sweeps hair off my forehead.
“Don’t pity me, Vee. I left with a scar that day.Big fucking deal. Finn left without a mother.”
I nod, snapping out of it, and lead his tip between my lips. Xav immediately clamps his eyes shut, gripping my hair as I twirl my tongue around him, my tempo unstable.
Undecisive.
