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I yelp when he spins us around in a sudden move and lays me down on my back. Xavier climbs on top of me and positions himself just right before plowing inside me again. I cry out when one of his hand finds my throat and the other finds my clit. This time, he doesn’t kiss me, revelling in my reactions as our bodies lock together. Doggy style was better.
For my heart, at least.
It meant I didn’t have to look into his eyes.
In doggy style, I didn’t have to break.
But in missionary, I’m a splintered, glued-together china vase. Pleasure pulses through my body, and I squeeze my eyes shut.
“I’m close,” I bleat, muffling my unraveling to the best of my ability, and Xav jerks my chin forward for a hot, messy kiss.
Close to giving you up.
Close to missing you until my heart bleeds.
Close to making the choice you can’t.
His pounding loses momentum, becoming jerkier.
“I love you,” Xavier rasps in my ear, and I kiss him before I do something stupid like say it back.
“Don’t stop,” I beg as the pleasure reaches its apex. My mouth drops open as I come undone for the last time. I’m trembling under him, and I know from Xav’s heavy breathing that he’s next in line.
“I fucking love you, Vee,” he repeats, staring me dead in the eyes. Like he knows what I’m about to do.
Like he knows I have to leave him.
Spasms overtake him, and his jaw flexes as he spills deep inside me without a condom. I witness his climax, finding so much beauty and perfection in the way he comes apart.
“I love you.” I slip up, and my heart fractures in two.
In four.
In six.
In a thousand fucking pieces.
Idiot. Why did you say it back?
Why would you make it sound like there’s hope for you two? Why would you make him think you’ll ever say a word to him again after this?
Sweaty and exhausted, Xavier and I collapse into each other’s arms, and as I blink back tears, I find comfort in knowing the greatest love stories all have an expiration date…
I just wish ours didn’t have to be today.
