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I glance at Xav one last time and squeeze my eyes shut to snap a mental picture of him in his element, a moment in time where he was carefree. Then I tuck the picture away in a mind drawer. The one labeled, “Things I Loved and Lost.”
Right next to my dad.
“I have to go, I… I’ll call you later.” I pull Dia into a parting hug before squeezing through the crowd at full speed. Faces pass me by as I bombard people with I’m sorry’sand Excuse me’s.
I see Xavier’s mom.
His dad.
Finn’s dad.
Mr. Hall.
They’re all sipping on expensive champagne. They came here to celebrate their brightest stars…. but I’m in no mood to celebrate. Because Xavier Emery was meant to shine in somebody else’s sky. And I’m not quite ready to watch him leave mine.
I’m halfway to the house when Xav stops speaking abruptly. I assume he just forgot what he wanted to say and keep walking.
Running.
Until a low curse echoes through the sound system.
“Fuck, I can’t.”
I halt my strides.
You could hear a pin drop.
“I’m sorry, I can’t do this,” Xavier admits, and I turn around, my anxiety shooting through an imaginary roof. “I’m full of shit,” Xav declares after a few seconds of gathering his thoughts, slipping a hand through his slicked-back hair.
No.
Triple no.
What the hell is he doing?
“This year wasn’t great,” he breathes. “Far from it. If anything, it was the worst year of my entire fucking life. Everything went to hell. Everything. And the only good part—” his eyes find me in the crowd, “—was meeting a girl.”
I swallow hard.
He’s looking at me like I’m the only person at the party.
The only person in the whole damn universe.
“Technically, I didn’t meet her. I’ve known her for a while. Since I was a hyper little boy playing tag in this very backyard. I just didn’t know how much of an amazing human being she was until recently.”
I give him a pleading look.
Don’t do this.
There is nothing left to save.
Nothing worth ruining your life over.
I’m confident it can’t get any worse until he calls me by name.
“You were right, Aveena.”
Heads turn on cue, searching for me somewhere in the mass. People spot me in a matter of seconds, boring holes through my skull.
