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Aveena
Dear Zac,
(What a basic name, by the way. You could’ve chosen any name. ANY name. *Shaking my head*)
Congrats, you caught me. I’m a girl. Too bad it’s the only thing you got right. I said I was a good person. I NEVER said I was “untainted” or “pure.”
In fact, not that it’s any of your business, but I stole twenty dollars from my parents to buy a Jonas Brothers’ album when I was eleven.
So technically, I’m a criminal.
Also, “technically”, your theory is trash.
Who says you can’t fuck up and still be a good person? Screw this “you’re only as good as the worst thing you’ve ever done” mentality. How about “you’re only as bad as your lack of remorse”?
It doesn’t end with someone fucking up. There’s so much more to life than that. It’s not all black and white. Sometimes it’s gray. Confusing, inconclusive gray. And at the end of the day, it all comes down to one question…
Do you regret it?
If the answer is yes, then there’s hope for you. It means you see the error of your ways and can do better. You can change.
People’s mistakes don’t define them, Zac.
It’s the decisions they make moving forward.
- L
P. S. : what’s the worst thing YOU’VE ever done?
P. S. 2 : Your theory is still trash.
* * *
Dear L,
THAT’S IT?
A TWENTY-BUCKS THEFT?
THAT’S the worst thing you’ve ever done? Jesus, I’m embarrassed for you. Oh, and nice speech you delivered there. Five stars. Almost teared up.
So, you want to know what my darkest sins are? Don’t hold your breath. I only give as much as I get, and your pathetic excuse for a confession doesn’t even make up for the calories I’m burning writing this.
Such a shame. I was about to pull out the big guns and give you la crème de la crème (I’m talking jaw-dropping stories), but now I’m not sure you deserve the good stuff.
So, brace yourself, angry chick.
Kindergarten-level confessions coming up.
Worst thing I ever did #1: I accidentally knocked a girl’s front teeth with a football when I was ten. Her parents couldn’t afford to get them fixed, so she called me out on it (hoping my parents would vomit cash) and I denied it like the little shit that I was. She walked around without front teeth for three years and got heavily teased for it. Still feel guilty about it to this day.
Worst thing I ever did #2: My buddy and I stole his dad’s car before we got our license and crashed it into a pole. We freaked out, drove the car to the middle of nowhere, hoping his dad would report it as stolen and never find out. Long story short, they found the car in two hours and we worked for his company for free all summer.
Thanks, traffic cams.
That’s enough for today. Like I said, I got stories WAY crazier than this. Unfortunately, you haven’t proved yourself worthy. But since I’m in a good mood, I’ll give you another chance. Tell me something crazy.
Maybe I’ll reconsider…
