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His features harden at my words, and he takes his hand back.
“Don’t,” he warns.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t feel bad for me.” He clenches his jaw. “I let you die, Dia. I don’t deserve your sympathies.”
That’swhat this is about?
“We’ve been over this. It was an accident,” I remind him.
“Don’t you get it? It could’ve been you. It could’ve been your dead body they were fishing out of that fucking lake, your funeral we were planning. I almost fucking killed you, Dia. I watched you drown, and I… I can’t live with that.”
It’s that lake.
Every time he sees it, he’s reminded of what could’ve happened that day. Not only is he convinced that he failed his mom, he’s also convinced that he failed me.
“Hey, look at me.”
He refuses, staring ahead of him.
“Finn, look at me.” I force our eyes to meet, cupping his face in my hands. “You didn’t kill me. I’m right here.”
“Still. I don’t know how to forgive myself.” He removes my hands from his jaw and rises to his feet. I watch him lean against the railing, staring blankly into space. I push off the floor, his back facing me as I free myself of a burden I’ve been carrying for what feels like a decade.
“Well, that’s too bad… Because I forgive you…”
He doesn’t move for a moment.
Then he swivels around, a mixture of shock and disbelief written all over his face.
I step closer.
“I forgive you for the accident.”
And closer.
“I forgive you for leaving.”
I take one more step.
“I forgive you, Finn. For all of it. Every. Little. Thing. I don’t care about what you’ve done or who you were because when I look at you, I see a man who wants to do better. To be better.”
His jaw goes slack at my speech, an army of demons swirling in the backs of his eyes.
“Yes, you fucked up. Yes, you could’ve handled things differently, but in the end, none of it matters. The only thing that matters is that you’re here. And you’re trying. And that’s good enough for me if it’s good enough for you.”
He can’t bring himself to answer.
A sob escapes me. “I… I love you, Finley Richards. I loved you when you were miles away and when you were right here. I loved you when you were a dick and the nicest guy to walk the earth. I loved you then, and I love you now. The question is… are you going to let me?”
There’s a silent ultimatum floating in the air.
He can either forgive himself, the way I’ve forgiven him, or we can say goodbye and go our separate ways. The decision seems to be a no-brainer when he blows out a breath and charges toward me so fast my back hits the glassed wall behind me. I could cry tears of relief when his hands capture my face and he kisses the ever-loving hell out of me.
I kiss him back like he’s oxygen and I’ve been suffocating since the day he left, gripping his collar and parting my lips to grant him access. His tongue slips inside my mouth, one of his hands gliding into my hair as if to ensure that I won’t back away. It’s like he’s afraid that I’m going to change my mind, see him for the unredeemable monster he thinks he is and come to my senses. The longer he devours me, the clearer it becomes that I couldn’t walk away if I tried. Finn Richards owns every part of me.
Good.
