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Me:You wanna take me there?
Rigger:Thought you wanted to be alone tonight?
Me:Changed my mind.
Three bubbles hover for a solid minute. I assume he’ll come back with a ‘no.’
Rigger:Give me five minutes to change clothes.
Me:Same.
On the way to the club, I think about Devin and how she used to smell. I don’t know why this crosses my mind but it does. When I first met her, she was constantly burning incense. Usually it was something cliché like patchouli or musk, but there was one she especially liked called “Michelle Obama.” When I asked her why they named a stick that you burn after our former first lady, Devin held it to my nose, and I’d perked my brows up.
“See? It smells classy,” she’d said.
I recall the times we used to make out, just for fun, not as a prequel to anything. And how I always felt like something was missing. There were a few times I would try to pull her shirt off, usually after one of her work shifts, but she would stop me, claiming she was too tired. And I would feel so relieved. How was that not a major red flag for me? That I would feel relief that my girlfriend didn’t want to have sex?
Just before 11:00, we’re at The Silver Club. The bar area is a little crowded but the dance floor more so. I need some alcohol in my system before I entertain doing what I came here to do.
“I’m not sure what it is you’re going to accomplish by stalking this guy.”
“Trust me,” I answer, swinging my eyes around the joint, looking for my subject.
“And I’m not so sure he won’t recognize you. Guys notice things.” He points his eyes to my chest.
“He’s too dumb to recognize me.”
I walk toward the bar, Rigger on my heels. Thankfully we don’t have to fight for a seat. I find a stool near the corner where I can keep my eyes on the whole place.
Rigger gets a beer and I order a long island iced tea. I take two deep pulls from the straw and ask the bartender for a bowl of cherries. When I look at the dance floor and see two girls grinding it out to a rap song I let my mind wander, trying to picture myself with one of them. They’re both hot, one with long blond hair like mine and the other with cropped brown curls. The brunette is curvy and I eye her up and down, paying close attention to how my body reacts, Devin’s words running through me …I know you prefer dick…
I know she’s right. I don’t want her to be right though. Dick complicates too much.
“Just because we’re here and you’ve moved on to your next target doesn’t mean you’re off the hook.”
“What? I did the job.” I stab one of the cherries with my straw. Red juice squirts inside the bowl before I bring my catch to my lips.
He lets out an exasperated sigh. “You shouldn’t have taken the mic off, Vay.”
“He was getting handsy, just like I predicted. He could have found it before I was ready to do the deed.”
“Then you do the deed before he has a chance to find it. Like the moment you get inside his house.”
“Pfft. What’s the fun in that?”
He scoffs. “The fun is in getting out alive and without getting caught. Do I need to go over the rule book again? Isolate, kill, abandon.” He shoots up three fingers, one at a time. “Not isolate, hang out for a while, get close to the edge, then kill.”
I pull a face. “You know I like getting close to the edge. It’s what I do.”
He turns to me, his jaw tight and set. I get chills at the darkness in his eyes as they dance around my face. “I don’t think you realize how much I need you, Tove. I can’t do all these jobs alone. But I won’t hesitate to cut you from them if you’re going to insist on doing things your way.”
I hold his gaze, parting my lips to defend my actions. He can do most if notallhis kills alone. In fact, he was going to do this one alone. He simply knows how much I like to help.
But what he said stings so much, I’m stunned into silence. The thought of him cutting me off from helping, it hurts. I shake my head a few times, look down at the shards of ice floating in my drink.
“Tove?” His voice is softer now, subdued. I look at him. “Do you know what was flashing through my head when I heard you go quiet?”
“No.”
