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“I don’t know. He’s the only friend I’ve ever had. So I’ve nothing to compare it to.” My entire body tenses all over, talking about Rigger like he didn’t have his tongue in my mouth today.
“And he hasn’t tried to get in your pants?”
I take a bite of chili, cover my mouth with a fist.
Ben stares at me, waiting for an answer.
“Actually … maybe.”
He shifts on the floor, drops his spoon in his chili bowl repeatedly, dumps a bunch of hot sauce in it then stirs it around.
I flick my eyes at him. “You mad?”
“Mad? No.” But he blows out a tight breath so I think he’s the one not being fully honest right now. “Question is, does it bother you?”
“It was just a one-time thing. And I’m pretty sure I made it clear that I wasn’t cool with it.”
“Good.” Ben leans over again, lifts my chin and kisses me.
I don’t know what to think about this.
“Isit good?” I ask.
His eyes bore into me.
“Let’s just say Iwascool with it.”Shut up, Tove. Shut. UP.“How would that make you feel?”
Examining me for a moment, Ben narrows his eyes a hair. He runs his tongue over his teeth, wipes his mouth with a napkin.
“I only ask because you told me yesterday that you didn’t want anything serious,” I add.
“So you’re trying to figure out if I’d be jealous if you dated another guy?”
“I … don’t know what I’m trying to figure out, if you want to know the truth.” I sigh again. He should cut me off from the alcohol. “Today was a shit show and it was a shit show because my best friend tried to kiss me.Didkiss me. And this was right after I talked to my dad about this big family secret I apparently have.”
“Ah, damn. Why the hell did he try to kiss you?”
“I don’t know.” I tip the wine glass back and drain it in two swallows. “We’d just had lunch. He made this big announcement that he was moving across the country. He told me to give up my plans of finding King. And that—” I stop right there. Good thing I’m not so drunk that I accidentally tell Ben that Rigger was trying to persuade me to stay away from him. On the off chance that we work through this, and Ben and Rigger actually do meet, I don’t want him to hate the guy. I wish the three of us could hang out, put our heads together to find the monster that destroyed my family. “And … the next thing I know, he’s kissing me.”
I hear a low rumble come from his throat and he shoves his bowl aside. Okay, I can definitely tell this bothers him, and more than a little.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. It’s probably too soon in our relation—”Shit. I pause again. “In our … whatever this is … to be dumping my life problems on you. I’ll figure it all out. I didnotbecome a serial killer by acting like a baby.” My head falls to the side, and I giggle.
Both his brows shoot up, his face glowing with curiosity as a smirk forms. “Come again?”
“I’m not usually like this. What did you put in this wine?” I spin the bottle, noticing it’s a port wine. Oh, that explains why it’s kicking my ass.
“Nothing. I’m wondering if you put something inmine. I could have sworn you just called yourself a serial killer.”
The smile vanishes from my mouth and I straighten myself, sobriety slapping me like a punch to the gut. “Obviously I’ve had too much to drink.”
“Yeah. I’m cutting you off,” he chuckles.
“I’m gonna get some water.” I push up off the floor and wrap the blanket tightly around my body then go to the kitchen, my face heating from embarrassment. I fill a glass from the sink and drink it all down. I’m tipsy and woozy but right away I can feel the effects of the alcohol being watered down. It’s a good thing I didn’t have hard liquor. My body metabolizes it much more slowly than wine.
I glance through the door, see Ben sitting there. I can’t believe what I just blurted out. I want to believe he wouldn’t be scared away. After all, he has his own plans for King which demonstrates he has no qualms about taking the law into his own hands.
I take a few deep breaths, focus on reassembling my brain into a sober state.
