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Sunny frowns a tad. “I just wish things were different.”
“Yeah, probably wish we were all a big, happy family. Right?”
Sunny reaches across the table and shoves me. “You don’t have to be a dick.”
“I’m not. I’m just bein’ a realist. You’re a dreamer, Sunny. Always have been and always will be, but I fucked with my kids too much. I wasn’t there for them when they were young, so I can’t expect her to forgive me for the lack of presence I had when she was younger. I’ll be here as much as she wants me to be in her adulthood. But what I won’t do is force a relationship that isn’t wanted in the first place.”
Sunny grabs my hand from across the table and squeezes it, probably trying to heal my aching heart . . . but I’m really alright. It sucks, but it is what it is.
Like I told her, I’ll be fine.
Plus, I can’t blame her for shit. I did this to myself.
CHAPTERFOUR
SUNNY
Why isn’t Octavia calling her father? God, I told her calling him once every two weeks wouldn’t kill her. Not to mention it helps him with his sobriety. The two of them have issues, sure, but . . . at the end of the day, he is her father. I know Octavia loves him, but she’s afraid to grow too close to him, worried he’ll choose the cocaine or the alcohol over her. I’ve never told her this, but I understand why she feels the way she does. My father was an addict too. But unlike her father, mine couldn’t be saved before the alcohol killed his liver and he went into liver failure. It was a horrific way to go, but something he did to himself.
I take his hand from across the table and give it a squeeze. “I know, but damn, I wish things were different, and I’m not giving up hope on the two of you just yet. Things can change, Ice. I know you aren’t optimistic, but there’s always an opportunity to make things better.” I give him an encouraging smile, and he gives me a curt nod. “Why don’t you come up to Billings with me when I go? It won’t be for a few weeks, but I think it would be nice. I was thinking about road tripping, and this way, I won’t have to do it all alone.”
He raises both of his brows. “Youwere plannin’ on driving across the country to go see our daughter? The woman who wrecked my brand new Jeep Wrangler when I got it? I don’t think so. I’ll go with you, on one condition.”
“Let me guess. You want to drive?”
“I don’t want to drive, but if you want us to get there in one piece, I’m gonna have to.” Ice cackles at the end of what he’s saying, and I grab his soda, taking a drink for myself, and then I realize I don’t know anything about what his life is like these days. I mean, I know he’s sober, and he’s not using drugs . . . but that doesn’t mean he isn’t the sly dog he’s always been.
“You look disgusted like you’re gonna vomit all over the table.”
“Okay, first of all, I’m not going to throw up. I’m just wondering if you’ve . . . been with anyone lately, like any risk of . . .” my words fall flat, and I stop talking. And even though Ice jokes about not being too intelligent, he’s not an idiot.
“I don’t have herpes, chlamydia, gonorrhea, or anything else. But, I mean, if you wanna come upstairs with me, you can check for yourself.” A playful smirk tugs at his lips, and I roll my eyes while shaking my head. The man’s fifty-six and acts like he’s still in his prime.
Ice grabs his soda from where I set it down on the table and takes a sip, keeping his eyes trained on me. Holy shit. He’s not kidding.
“Ice,” I start to tell him why this is a bad idea, but he interrupts me before I’ve said anything except his name.
“I haven’t fucked a woman since the last time I got high, Sunny.” His words almost cause me to choke on my saliva.
“You’re joking.” He has to be. There’s no way Ice, of all people, has been abstinent for this long. There’s no fucking way. Not with the way he was fucking around on me back in the day. I mean, he was the dirtiest dog I’d ever been in a relationship with. I know many women who would’ve let the man slowly kill himself with cocaine and alcohol, but I couldn’t do that. I’m not saying he didn’t deserve to die a slow, painful death . . . but he really didn’t deserve my compassion, but no one deserves to die like that.
“Why would I be joking? I’m not gonna go stick my icicle in anyone’s pussy unless I know them. Not after Armor told us about the time he got crabs from this chick. And to think for so long I was good, but hearin’ about him scratchin’ his dick so much he thought it was gonna fall off was a bit much for me. I’ve been a member of the spank bank for a while now, baby. The question is are you gettin’ your needs met, and if not, maybe we can service each other. You know?”
I haven’t gotten laid in so long that I know there are cobwebs up in my hoochie. It’s been so long that I’m debating taking Ice up on his offer. Yeah, we have history . . . but it sounds like the dirty old man is just looking for sex . . . and he knows how to use every tool he has. I was thinking about getting on one of those online dating sites to have a constant hook-up . . . but . . . maybe this won’t be such a bad idea after all.
“Hooked, lined, and sunk.” Ice chuckles, and here I am, rolling my eyes yet again.
“I need time to think about it.”
“Mhm, so, wanna come upstairs and watch a movie? We can pass some time, and maybe by the end of it, you’ll have a decision for me.”
Christ almighty. I’m playing with fire, and I know I’ll probably get burned in one way or another, but I just have to be the type of woman who wants life experiences. I nod, and Ice stands. He leads me through the bar portion and then takes me into the actual clubhouse, up the stairs, and to his bedroom.
CHAPTERFIVE
SUNNY
I stand behind him as he slides the key in his door, pushing it open, and know this is my last chance to back out, but instead of hightailing it out of here, I follow him inside. He shuts the door behind us locking the deadbolt, so we’re not interrupted.
