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His voice is missing the upbeat tone I am used to starting our days with. I don’t answer. Can’t think of the right thing to say. The power of love is a curious thing.
He leans on an elbow. The turtle tattoo sits staring. My fingertips brush over the healed image. So you move between land and water, huh? Does it work both ways? An errant lock of hair falls over a bloodshot hazel eye. He takes in the mood of the room.
“I know. I’m feeling it too.”
Tears begin to gather, and he sees and responds with tears of his own.
“Shit,” I say, wiping one away. “I’m glad we will say our goodbyes here. Don’t think I could do it at the airport without coming apart.”
“It isn’t goodbye!”
“Uh huh.”
“Fuck. Let’s not waste the last hours crying. I’ll be doing enough when I’m back home.”
“Okay. I’ll try.”
“I just want you to know Iwillfigure this whole thing out. And Alana and I will be back for the holiday break. That’s just a few months.”
“Uh huh.”
“Leilani, do you think anything is going to stop me from being with you?”
“No. I want what you say to be true.”
“It is true,” he says with a firm voice. “Say you believe it.”
A whisper is all that comes out.
“I believe it.”
“We just need a little time to figure things out. That’s all.”
“That’s allsounds mighty big.”
I want to have hope desperately, but I am no Pollyanna. What are the odds he will find a way back? We may be destined to have a long-distance romance. Those never work.
“Let me love you one more time and convince you.”
He takes a kiss. Then another. More. I give everything to the man I love beyond measure and take all he has for me.
Chapter 24
ALEK
Fifty-three days, eleven hours has done nothing but build determination and confidence. I am going in the right direction. California always held me in her hand but loving a hula girl has loosened the grip. Doesn’t surprise me at all. I still can smell her perfume, for Christ’s sake. The woman imprinted on my soul and she calls to me, day and night.Come home.
Could I live without her hand in mine? Or be apart from her laughter? Being with Leilani has changed my perception of life. Without her the world is not as beautiful. Unknowing the effect of her is impossible.
A clear way forward was what I needed to find, and the flight home was where it happened.
Isolated with my thoughts, Alana in a world of her own, earbuds blocking conversation, I was free to lay out the facts. Look for possible solutions. It was the first hours away from Leilani. Nani’s restaurant business fell from my shoulders. I couldplot. There’s that word again.
Once I identified each issue, and looked from Alana and Mak’s points of view, I saw how there were choices that would satisfy us all. None would settle in any way. It had to berightfor everybody. I think I have thought of everything possible.
Alana is a different girl. The school choice was based on insecurities. I see that now. She wants to be in Hawaii with her friends and more of her family. I want her to have a private education. Both can happen.
But I needed to give it a little time, because what if she pivots again and decides she likes the all-girls school? To top it off, we are under a time constraint. I have three months to get a refund and then it’s bye bye thirty grand. Tick, tick, tick. We are at T-minus eight days and counting. Tonight I give her the chance to make the final decision. I will abide by it and never let on I wanted anything else.
