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What hurt even more was that he hadn’t made love to her, hadn’t tried to soothe her feelings of emptiness. Back when they were trying so desperately to get pregnant, their lovemaking had become more mandatory than spontaneous. But since they’d stopped trying, they’d rediscovered the joy of making love in their king-size bed.
She glanced around the room, remembering how happy she’d been when they bought this home with its four bedrooms—bedrooms she’d hoped to fill with their children. Her gaze returned to Aidan’s face, relaxed in sleep, and she felt even more determined to encourage him to talk about adoption.
He stirred and her heart soared. She rose and went to the bed, sat beside him, soaking in his scent, smoothing the tufts of his glossy auburn hair mussed by the pillow. “Are you awake?” she whispered.
“Hmm.” He reached up, his fingers trailing through her blond hair, tantalizing her with his touch, the feel of his skin on hers, the very presence of him filling her with joy.
He moved the sheets back, his arm reaching out to surround her. “Get in here, woman. I’m not ready to get up just yet, and you don’t need to sit in the cool air,” he said, his voice deep, his smoldering look banishing everything but her need for him.
She snuggled in, pulling the sheet over her half-naked body. “What were you doing up so early?” he asked, kissing her chin, his hands smoothing the hair from her face. “You’re not up checking your temperature, are you?” He gave her an inquiring glance. “I thought we were done with that.” He pushed a pillow under his shoulders, pulling her tighter into his embrace and kissing her, a long, slow kiss that melted every bone in her body.
“We are,” she said, her throat feeling blocked while the memories played around her mind—the hope, the effort, the beautifully decorated nursery, the agony of loss…all of it for nothing. What should have been happy, wonderful years of starting a family had become the most desolate time of her life.
He tucked her close to his side, his lips brushing her forehead. “This is hard for you, and for me, but the doctors had to tell us the truth. We have to accept that. We’ve got to move on.”
“I know. But weren’t you excited about my news last night?” she asked, stroking his chin, watching to see how he’d respond. Maybe after a night’s sleep he was ready to talk about when they could see the adoption lawyer.
He sighed. “We need to really think about this a little more. After what we’ve been through, it’s a huge decision.”
“I realize that.” She continued to gently touch his face, feeling the light stubble there. He didn’t pull away as he had last night. “But the adoption lawyer has made such a big difference in Cecilia and Dave’s life. I want to talk to him. I decided to call his office to see if we could get an appointment…if you’re willing to go with me.”
“What was his name again?”
“Sterling Martin. I told you all of this last night,” she said, feeling frustrated but trying to hide it. “His office is just off King Street. He specializes in private adoptions. Cecilia and Dave are so happy with their new baby. James P is such a perfect child.”
Aidan’s fingers trailed along her collarbone, something he did whenever they talked about having a child. “Honey, I know how important this is to you. To us. But just this once, can we wake up and think about something else? Like maybe a vacation to Europe. We always said we wanted to go. Remember? All those times we watched our friends take off on vacation to some place interesting while we stayed home because of your worries about what could happen if you conceived while we were out of the country.”
