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“Grace, I was really down earlier today. After you left and I was finished with the lawyer, I realized that I was as much to blame, if not more so, than Deidre for what happened. I should never have had sex with her. It was stupid and irresponsible. But I can’t regret Emma. I don’t know why Deidre didn’t tell me about her, let me be involved, but that’s over. I want us to move on, the three of us. Did I tell you that Emma held my photo and called me Dad?”
“She did?” Grace said, her throat twisting into a hard knot. Aidan had had the moment she’d dreamed of all her life—that moment when her child called her Mom. “That’s lovely for you.”
“I… Whatever we decide, I don’t want to ever be separated from Emma again.”
“Not even for a few days while we sort things out between us?” she asked, feeling a sense of foreboding. By that one statement, he had made it clear that what Emma needed and what he needed came first, ahead of their relationship. Did he have any idea how cruel and hurtful his words were?
“We can talk when she’s in kindergarten any day you can get here.”
“I didn’t say I was coming back to Spartanburg. I’m still completely confused as to where I stand in all this and how we put things back together in our lives.”
There was a long pause before Aidan spoke. “Grace, I love you. This whole experience has affected me in ways I couldn’t have imagined a few weeks ago. But I realize that I’m too quick to talk about what I want and how I see things. My actions have hurt you and I’m sorry. What can I do to fix this?”
Had he not heard a word of what she’d said? “Do you think this can be fixed by making a list of things to be done?”
“Well, not exactly a list. My weekend with Deidre was almost five years ago, Grace. I’ve hurt you, made it difficult for you to trust me. I realize that. But I love you. We have a beautiful life together, and now we have a child.”
“Aidan, you’re asking me to accept your daughter by another woman without you helping me work through how I feel, what I want to see happen. I need you to listen to me, to my feelings.”
“I am listening right now, Grace.”
“I don’t know if I can accept Emma into our lives. Every time I look at her, I will see a part of you and be reminded that you were unfaithful to me. When I see you in her, I will remember what you did to us, and to our marriage. I will remember that when I thought we were focused on creating a child, a family together, you had sex with someone else.”
“Do you suppose you could get over those feelings and start thinking differently if you met Emma, formed your own bond with her? Deidre isn’t competition. She never was.”
“I know you believe that, but in my heart I’m afraid that I can’t handle living with Emma every day without remembering where she came from and how I feel about that.” She made a frustrated sound. “And in contradiction to those feelings, when you didn’t want my advice on Emma, I felt left out.”
“You’re not left out. I’ve just been a stupid person to let you feel that way.”
Did she dare hope that they were making progress? Was he really willing to take her into his plan as an equal and not as simply someone he needed? “I want what you want for Emma. But I feel we’re moving too fast without consideration as to how this will work in the long term.”
“Grace, a few weeks ago those words would have been my words. I’m the one who likes to sit back and deliberate on what to do and how to do it. But Grace, there’s no problem here that I can see. What I’d like is get you and Emma together. Believe me, all your worries will disappear. Would you consider that?”
