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Aidan believed the past was over—his affair was done and Deidre was dead—so they should move on.
Grace knew it wasn’t over and it wasn’t done. Not for her. She couldn’t simply move on.
In a way, it was a relief to have him out of town so she didn’t have to worry about seeing him unexpectedly or having friends ask why they weren’t together. Thankfully, Lucas had told her that Aidan was coming back later today, so she’d had the chance to prepare herself.
She supposed she should go to clean up the house since Emma and Lisa were accompanying Aidan, but Grace couldn’t bring herself to do it. Every time she thought of him, she remembered seeing him in Deidre’s office.
Seeing him there, so comfortable in that space, brought back all the times she’d put his needs first, thought of nice things to do to make his life easier. She had loved and cared for him, waited on him and wanted to bear his children. But none of her caring mattered. It hadn’t mattered when he decided to have sex with another woman. And it didn’t matter now, when he was in another city, leading a life that made her feel jealous and left out.
There was something she should do at the house before Aidan got home. Her flower garden had been overlooked in her lethargy. Despite Aidan’s suggestion that they hire a landscaper and have the backyard done professionally, she had been adamant that she do it herself. She loved every minute she spent in the garden and had taken a horticultural course to learn about plants and their preferred places and relationships.
To her complete surprise, she’d discovered a rabbit had taken up residence, a delightfully shy creature that she first found nibbling on baby lettuce in one of her raised beds.
She was anxious to see if the rabbit was still around and how her hibiscus shrubs were doing, not to mention the black-eyed Susan plants she had acquired last spring. According to Lucas, Aidan wasn’t expected until early evening. She had time to at least assess what needed to be done.
She was on the way out the door, thinking that she needed to pick up a few groceries on the way over to the house, when it hit her.
You’re not living there anymore. Your marriage is in trouble, and you still think you should be putting groceries in the fridge?
Getting her purse and keys, and avoiding the street that went past the grocery store, she headed down the wide boulevard that led into the subdivision. A pang of longing shot through her at the sight of her window boxes showing off the bright red geraniums she’d planted. And the peonies at the corner of the house nodded their large pink blossoms.
Only weeks ago she’d been very reasonably happy in this house. Despite not being able to have children, she had concentrated on her crafts and her love of wool and fabrics, her gardens. Now, as she pulled into the driveway, she yearned for those moments before all this happened when she believed she could convince Aidan to adopt a child.
Determined not to think about any of it, she made her way around the house to the garden in the back. The sweet scent of lavender wafting up from the herb bed greeted her, filling her with a sense of calm. At least here she had control of what went on. It was, after all, her design and her effort that had converted this into a flowered space that her neighbors and friends praised. She enjoyed their compliments and freely shared gardening tips with anyone who asked.
She recalled the day Aidan had hurt his shoulder moving the lumber into place for her raised beds, the day he nearly stumbled carrying an armload of sod to fix the ground around the koi pond in the center of the garden. She remembered rubbing his sore muscles with an anti-inflammatory cream to ease the pain. She also remembered the lovemaking after they’d showered together that day.
How had they come to this place where they had trouble talking to each other and no longer shared even the simplest things?
