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“Do you know when Lucas will be back?” she asked, feeling awkward when they reached the door. Would he try to kiss her? If he did, what would she do?
“He should be here tomorrow,” Aidan said, his eyes searching her face. “Grace, I would like a chance to talk to you. Can we meet somewhere tomorrow? Maybe for coffee?”
“That would be nice,” she said, resisting the urge to move into his arms.
“Grace, you were fantastic with Emma. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” She fidgeted with the bag of fabric, and pushed the strap of her purse up her shoulder.
Aidan shifted from one foot to the other, jamming his hands in his pockets as he did so. “I just want to say that I’m so sorry we never had a baby together. You are a fantastic parent. All this time you waited to do something that comes so easily and naturally to you. I can only imagine how painful it has been, and I’m so sorry I wasn’t more caring and didn’t support you the way I should have.”
The expression on his face, the way his eyes searched hers made her see that he was sincere. She wanted to reach out to him, to touch him, to show her appreciation for his saying that, but she couldn’t. If she did, she’d cry, and she’d cried enough these past few weeks, endless days of wishing things had been different in their lives and in their marriage.
More than anything, she wanted to talk about how difficult it had been for her, but that would have to wait until she was emotionally able to share everything with him and have him listen with his heart not his mind. She knew he was waiting for more, but she didn’t have anything she could offer him. “I’d better go.”
“Can I call you tomorrow?” he asked as she opened the front door.
“Yeah. That would be good.” She didn’t look back as she went down the walkway. She couldn’t. If she did, she would surely run to him, to his arms, to the life she’d lived for the past ten years as his wife.
But that would mean she’d have to give up on her belief that he had to change, that he had to be willing to really listen to her. Being the one to relent, give in over an argument, had always been her style. She’d always taken the first step after any disagreement they’d ever had. She couldn’t this time. There was too much at stake, too much of who she was, who she believed herself to be, to be the one who offered to reconcile their differences.
She opened the car door, placed her material on the passenger seat, climbed in and drove off into the lonely night.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
AIDAN CALLED THE next morning just moments after Grace had gotten out of bed. “It was great to see you yesterday. And I wondered if you might be available for coffee or tea this morning. I could bring coffee over if you’d like that.”
Stifling a yawn, she said, “Don’t you think it’s a little early? I just got up.”
“You never sleep in. Are you all right?” he asked, concern evident in his tone.
She wasn’t about to tell him that she’d lain awake for hours last night, missing him lying beside her, reaching for him knowing he wasn’t there. Waking up to an empty condo with no one to talk to, to share things with, had been heart wrenching. It all felt so final somehow, so awful. She didn’t want to live like this, but she needed Aidan to change his attitude where she was concerned. She needed him to really see her and not simply the things she could do for him to make his life better.
“I’m fine. I slept in a little bit, that’s all. I used to do that when you were away on business, or don’t you remember?”
“Yeah, now that you mention it I do remember calling you when I was away on business and waking you up.” He gave a low chuckle. “So, what do you say? Will we go out for coffee or will I bring it over to the condo?”
