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Shawna
Terror. Pure terror is the only way to describe what happened to Noah and me this morning. I’m still trying to process all of it, but I also just want to forget. And no matter how distraught I feel, I have to stay strong for Noah. No child should have to endure what he did. I’d kill Jarred if I had the chance—just kill him with my bare hands. I can’t believe he did this to us—along with his father.
Noah and I cuddle together on the couch, watching his favorite cartoons. Mom sits on the recliner near us. Today was traumatic for her as well. She was worried as soon as the police showed up to tell her my car had been found abandoned in a nearby field. Luckily, she didn’t have to suffer long before the police received the call that we were found. Though when she found out the circumstances of what Jarred and his father did to us, she fell apart. I think she’d kill them both in cold blood, too, if she had the chance.
“Mommy,” Noah says out of the blue. He’s barely said a word since we were found, aside from telling the police a few details of what he remembered happening.
“Yeah, baby, what is it?” I ask, turning my head so I can see him better.
He looks perplexed, as if he’s trying to process what to say. Then his eyes meet mine, and he says, “That man was my dad?”
I close my eyes and try to hold back tears. When I open them again, I say, “Yes, baby. He’s your father. But he’s also a very bad man, which is why you’ve never met him before.”
I knew this question was coming. Although he was quiet while I explained Jarred’s connection to us to the police, Noah heard me tell them he was my ex and my son’s father. After all that happened, I didn’t want to bring the conversation up again, so I decided to wait for Noah to ask.
“Why was my dad so bad?” he asks, and my heart crumbles for the millionth time today.
Mom mutes the TV.
“I don’t know exactly why he was so bad,” I explain. “He wasn’t like that when I knew him a long time ago. I guess something happened to him after he left town.”
“Like Anakin Skywalker?” Noah asks, and the fact he’s referencing one of his favorite movies at a time like this makes me smile. It shows that he’s still the same little boy deep down, despite all the horrible things that happened today.
“Yes, baby, just like Anakin Skywalker. Something happened to your dad—I don’t know what––but he turned to the dark side. I had no idea, and I was surprised to see him back in town after so many years. And I’m so, so sorry for what he did to you today. I love you so much.”
Noah looks away from me for a moment. “I was scared. I’ve never been so scared in my life.” Tears spring to his eyes, and he begins crying. I pull him closer to me and try to soothe him.
“Shh, it’s okay,” I say, and I begin crying again myself.
After a few minutes of crying and holding one another, Noah looks up at me again. “Nate is my hero. He saved me today. I love him more than I love my dad.”
His words take me by surprise, and I glance over at Mom. She wipes her eyes. I didn’t know she was crying as well. I look back at Noah. “Nate is a good guy. You’re right, he is a hero.”
After a while, Noah falls asleep in my arms. I don’t want to disturb him, so I continue to lie with him on the couch. I feel a sense of calmness, knowing we’re safe and sound together. But that sense is interrupted when there’s a knock on the front door.
The sound startles me, and I look at Mom. “Who can that be?” I ask as if she’ll know.
She stands. “I’ll get it.”
With the TV sound on again, I can’t hear anything in the entryway, so I have no idea who’s here. It doesn’t take long to find out, though. Mom walks back into the family room with Nate right behind her. Seeing him fills me with mixed emotions. Of course, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for what he did to save Noah and me today. But I’m also a little confused because he lied and used me before. Although, that almost seems irrelevant now. He rescued my baby and me today, and I don’t know how I’ll ever repay him, Rob, and the other guys on his team.
“Hi,” he says as he walks in the room. “I just wanted to check on you and Noah to make sure you’re both doing okay.”
Carefully, I move my arm out from under Noah so I don’t wake him up, and I sit up on the couch. “Physically, we’re okay. Mentally … well, that’s going to take a while.”
Mom motions toward her empty recliner. “Have a seat, Nate. Can I get you something to drink?”
Nate smiles at her kindly. “Oh, no thank you. I can’t stay long.”
My heart sinks. I want him to stay longer. “Thank you, again, for everything you did today. I-I’m just so grateful that you and Rob were there.”
“I was just doing my job,” he replies. “But I’m thrilled to know you're both okay and that Jarred will finally be behind bars.”
“Don’t downplay your bravery, Nate. It might be your job, but you and Rob were our heroes today. I wish I could put into words how I truly feel, but it seems impossible. Saying grateful and thank you will never be enough to articulate my true feelings.” He looks down and puts his hands in his pockets. He’s so humble, but I want him to know how gracious I am. “If it wasn’t for you guys being there, I don’t know what would’ve happened to us.” I try to hold back the tears, but I can’t. Leaning my elbows on my knees, I bury my face in my hands and cry.
Nate strides across the room and kneels at my feet. He puts his hands on my knees and tries to comfort me. “You’re okay, Shawna,” he says softly. “Don’t play the what-ifs. You’re safe, and everything is going to be okay.”
We sit like this for several minutes as I cry. I don’t want to imagine what would’ve happened if they didn’t show up when they did, but it’s impossible not to think about. Jarred left me tied up in the shed, and he was going to take Noah away. My son would be missing, and I would probably suffer in there until someone found me … which was very unlikely, considering my location. The chances of anyone finding either of us were slim to none, but Nate and his team did.
