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“I tried to get ahold of you before,” Nate says. “None of my calls or texts would go through. I’m guessing you blocked my number.”
I bite my lip, wishing I’d never done that. “I did. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” Nate says. “You were mad, and rightfully so. I did lie to you about my job and why I was in Port Townsend. I don’t blame you for blocking me.” Noah stirs, and we both look at him, but he doesn’t wake up. Nate looks back at me and continues. “The truth is, yes, I did originally go to your bar to find you because you had a connection to Jarred. But, Shawna, the moment we met, there was something about you. The more we talked, the more I liked you … the more I was attracted to you. I knew you didn’t have anything on Jarred. I just wanted to spend time with you. Plus, I wanted to protect you in case Jarred came back after his mom died. I wanted to make sure you and Noah were safe.”
His words are everything to me. Deep down, I knew it already. He really does care for me, but things were—–and still are—–beyond complicated between us.
“Do you have to leave tomorrow?” I ask, hoping he’ll say no.
Nate frowns and looks down. “Yeah, I do. I wish I could stay, but I have to go back with the guys and debrief with our boss.”
Nodding, I understand, but it’s still disappointing.
Nate looks at his watch. “I should go. It’s getting late, and I have to get up early.”
This is it. Our last few minutes together before he walks out the door. “I’ll move Noah for you,” I say, standing up and reaching for him. I carefully lift him and move him to the other side of the couch to lie down. He stirs a bit but doesn’t wake.
Nate puts his shoes back on, then stands. Not knowing what else to do, I lamely say, “I’ll walk you to the door.”
We walk to the entryway. He grabs his coat off the hook by the door and puts it on, then turns to me. “I want us to stay in touch. I’m going to miss you. And Noah, too.”
A sad smile splays on my lips. Then I remember I blocked and deleted his number. “Um, hang on a minute.” I turn and walk back to the family room to retrieve my phone, then return to Nate in the entryway. “What’s your phone number again? I kinda deleted you as a contact after I blocked you.”
Nate chuckles and shakes his head. “You really were angry with me,” he says, then recites his phone number. I add him as a contact once again, making sure he’s no longer blocked as well.
I put my phone in my back pocket, then Nate wraps me in a hug. I wrap my arms around him, and we hold each other close for who knows how long. I don’t want to let him go, and I don’t think he wants to let go of me. I love having his strong arms around me and his body close to mine.
I want more with Nate, and the fact that we can’t have more crushes me.
Nate pulls away, and I reluctantly let go of him. He turns to open the door, then looks back at me. “By the way, I’m staying in your relative’s room at The Pioneer.” He chuckles and rubs his chin, then shakes his head. “We’ll talk soon, okay?” Then he turns and walks out the door, closing it behind him.
Instinctively, I reach for the door, but then I stop myself. I have to let him go. Holding back tears, I lock the deadbolt, then turn and walk back to the family room where Noah is still sound asleep. Too tired to lift and carry him upstairs to his room, I decide to leave him on the couch. I cover him with a blanket, then smooth his hair, ever so thankful that he’s here and safe with me.
I have a pit in my stomach, though, and not because of what happened earlier today. It’s because Nate left. I need more time with him before he goes. I need to tell him how I feel.
And then his words replay in my head, “I’m staying in your relative’s room at The Pioneer.” For one, I’m impressed he actually remembered my relative’s name when I told him that bit of information last week. Two, I know where he’s staying and what room he’s in. I could go to him.
Looking at Noah asleep on the couch, I weigh my options. Mom’s home, so he’ll be all right. I’ll have to borrow Mom’s car, though, since mine was towed to the auto glass shop in town. I’m not sure how I feel about driving so soon after what happened this morning. Maybe I should go see Nate in the morning instead.
However, I don’t want to wait until morning to see him, and I don’t want the time constraint right before he has to leave. I know I won’t be able to sleep tonight without seeing him again, so I just need to go.
I go upstairs and knock on Mom’s door.
“Come in,” she says, and I open the door.
“Can I borrow your car?”
“Where are you going?” she asks, her brows knitted in, obviously confused as to why I need to go somewhere right now.
“To see Nate.”
She looks at me as if I have two heads. “Honey, Nate was just here. Are you feeling okay?”
I nod. “I’m fine. I know he just left, but I need to see him again before he leaves town in the morning. I just…” I throw my arms out to my sides and sigh. “I just need to go to him.”
Mom’s face relaxes, and her lips lift in a subtle smile. She nods. “Go ahead. My keys are by the door.”
“Thanks. Noah is asleep on the couch.”
“I’ll go downstairs so he’s not scared if he wakes up alone down there.”
I cross the room to give her a hug. “Thank you,” I say. “I really appreciate it.”
Ten minutes later, I’m on the road, heading to The Pioneer.
