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“Why are you making that face?” she asks. “Are you having second thoughts?”
“No, it’s not like that…” I turn my head to look out the window and gather my thoughts.
“Hey, it’s okay if you are,” Kim says. “I mean, it’s not as if you have this long history together. Things are moving pretty quickly for you two.”
I look back at my friend. “That’s exactly what it is. Are we moving too fast? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m crazy about Nate and want to be with him. It’s not about whether or not I want to have a relationship because I definitely do. I miss him like crazy, and I wish he was here right now, but is it a good idea for him to move here so soon?”
Kim sighs. “Oh, Shawna. I don’t know. No one knows the answer to that question. You and Nate just have to do what you think is best for your relationship.”
“What if he moves here, and we end up breaking up? I don’t want him to be stuck here because he gave up his career for me.”
“Well, I guess that’s one example that shows how much you love him. You’re more concerned about what’ll happen to him if you break up, rather than yourself. It’s very unselfish of you. A true example of what it means to love someone.”
I’m stunned by her comment. “We haven’t even said I love you yet.”
Kim’s eyebrows shoot up again. “Well, do you love him? I mean, if he’s willing to move here, there must be some love involved.”
She’s right. I can only speak for myself, but my feelings for Nate are strong. They may have developed quickly, but I care about him, I want what’s best for him, I want to be with him all the time, and I love how wonderful he is with Noah. If that’s not love, what is it?
“I do love Nate. I’ve just never experienced this before, you know?” Now that I’ve had this a-ha moment, I wonder if Nate is in love with me, too? Like Kim said, would he be willing to move here if he wasn’t?
Kim smiles. “Look, I’m no expert, but here are my two cents. Sure, things seem to be moving at warp speed for you. But you two spent a lot of time together when he was here the first time, right?”
I nod. “Yeah. We talked for hours when he came to the bar the first few days he was in town. Then we ran into each other at the pumpkin patch, he took me out that night, came over the next day to help Noah carve his pumpkin and stayed for dinner, and then we went out together the next two nights.”
“Okay, so you basically had the equivalent of at least five or six total dates, if you think about it,” she says. “Then although the circumstances were awful, you spent another day together last week, and you two have talked on the phone multiple times a day since he went back home. So, if you think about it, you’ve had a total of what’s probably like nine or ten dates together, in terms of getting to know one another. Do you know where Trevor and I were in our relationship after ten dates?” I shake my head. “We were sleeping over at each other’s apartments at that point and practically living together.”
“You were not,” I say, not believing she and Trevor moved that fast in their relationship.
“Yes, we were! And look at us now, all married and shit,” she says, then laughs.
I laugh with her. It feels good to laugh instead of cry, which I’ve done too much of in the past few days. “Okay, okay. So, what’re your two cents?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah, my two cents,” she says, remembering the point she was trying to make. “You and Nate care a lot about each other. It’s not as if you’re moving in together this quickly. He’s just willing to move to Port Townsend to be closer to you. He wants your relationship to have an actual chance at working without the obstacle of being over a thousand miles apart. I think that’s really awesome.”
Her reasoning makes sense, and she’s right. If he doesn’t move here, what are the chances our relationship will survive? Being away from each other for a week or two is one thing, but continuing to have a relationship like that over a long period will be difficult. Nate’s willing to make the sacrifice to move here solely to be closer to me. Am I just scared of how amazing this could turn out to be?
Yes. I never expected to fall in love with a man so quickly. Just a couple of weeks ago, Kim tried to set me up on a blind date, and I refused. I wasn’t looking to date anyone, and my life was complete without a man in it. But then Nate appeared, and so many things changed … I don’t need him, but I don’t want to lose him again. I want Nate in Noah’s and my life.
I smile at Kim. She’s always been good at giving advice. “Thank you. You’ve helped put things in perspective for me.”
“Cheers to that!” Kim raises her glass, and I clank mine with hers. We both take a sip of our wine, then Kim says, “When do I get to meet Nate, anyway? I want to meet this Navy SEAL man of yours!”
I laugh. I’m thankful for Kim’s friendship. “How about next week when he’s here? I can’t wait to introduce you and Trevor to him!”
“Sounds like a plan,” she says with a smile.
* * *
“Nate’s here!” Noah calls from the living room. He’s been watching through the front window, waiting for Nate to arrive ever since he got home from school.
Today was his first day back at school and my first day back at work as well. He really didn’t want to go, and it was difficult to convince him we’d both be okay. However, the fact that Nate was returning this evening seemed to help. Noah said he’d be “brave like Nate” and go back to school so he could tell him all about it when he sees him tonight.
I left work early and picked Noah up when school got out, then we came home to wait for Nate’s arrival. Of course, I’m excited to see him, too. Although we talk every day, I crave his touch.
Noah’s already opening the front door by the time I walk down the hall, and Nate’s just walking up the front steps. He doesn’t notice me right away, only Noah, and the way he greets my son makes my heart melt.
“Hey, buddy,” Nate says as he kneels and wraps him in a hug. They stay like that, just holding one another for a long time, and I know it’s what my son needs right now.
