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“My pleasure, sweetheart.” She glances down at her watch and then back at me.
“You have five minutes to change before you risk being late for work.”
I smile tightly and reach for the small ceramic cup of peach jam and smear it on my toast.
“Since I’m not changing, I have time to enjoy breakfast. It’s the most important meal of the day,” I remind her, throwing the words she’s used on me for years right back at her.
“Have a good day, honey,” my dad says.
“Thanks, Daddy.” I press a kiss to the top of his head before I move to my mother, who insists on fake air kisses. “Have a great day,” I tell them collectively and rush out the door.
Behind the wheel of the red Camry Dad bought me as a graduation gift, I let out a deep breath and enjoy the quiet as I start the twenty-minute drive to the office. The car has leather seats, a giant screen with more details than I’ll ever need, and a great sound system that I use to force thoughts of Shades out of my head.
When a gospel version of “Amazing Grace” fails to rid my mind of thoughts I shouldn’t have about the hot biker, I decide to revel in it until Destiny of Life comes into view.
There’s nothing wrong with thinking or fantasizing about a man, even if he’s not the man for me. Right? Thinking about sinning isn’t the same as sinning, so I indulge my thoughts and my fantasies, which are pretty tame thanks to my lack of experience.
But then I wonder if I’ll ever see Shades again. There’s something going on between him and Pastor Braden, more than a local businessman in need of assistance, I know that much. But what if he doesn’t return? Will I be doomed to only think of that one kiss?
“Stop it, Letty. There is only ever going to be one kiss. Shades is not the man for me,” I tell myself out loud to let the words sink in. I refuse to let this be another crush that fills my mind with desperately out-of-reach fantasies, only to end up disappointed and heartbroken. Again.
I take in a few fortifying breaths and head inside the church.
“Good morning, Letty.”
I smile. “Good morning, Marjorie. How are you?”
“I’m good, grateful to wake up for another day. You?”
“Same and equally grateful that I have a job!” Some of my friends are on a gap year before graduate school or entering the workforce, but I want to work for a few years before deciding where my career will go.
“In this economy, we should all be grateful.”
“Amen,” I tell her and grab the papers and envelopes from my mail slot, and quickly make my way to my office. Timesheets clutter my desk, a reminder that payroll is due this week. That’s my main priority for today, so I sit down and pull up the payroll software and get to work.
A knock sounds on my door a moment before it opens, and Pastor Braden steps inside, wearing a worried expression.
“Good morning, Letty. Do you have a moment?”
“Of course.” I motion for him to sit and ignore the worry that starts to settle in my stomach. “Is there anything wrong, Pastor?”
“Oh no, you’re doing an excellent job, but there is something we need to talk about.”
I nod and swallow hard. “Okay. Tell me how I can do better, please.”
“You remember the man from yesterday, Shades Hollister?”
“Of course. He’s not a character I’d forget easily.” He’s unlike any man I know in looks and temperament.
Pastor Braden smiles. “Don’t mistake his appearance for him being a bad man, Letty.”
I sigh and shake my head. “I may have judged him harshly at first appearance. And second,” I admit. “But I had a long conversation with my mother regarding sinners and forgiveness, and I’m done with that. Well, I’m trying.”
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and my goal is to work to become a better Christian, not a perfect one.
“That’s good to hear because I need you to give Shades or any other member of the Reckless Souls anything they want. Whatever they need.”
Anything they want.
