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I nod. “Honestly, I never held it against you. I mean, you are my mother. Although, I did think you were trying to make me into the woman you are, with all that talk of finding a husband and criticizing my clothes.”
“I do think it’s important to find a good man, Loretta. Marriage is eternal, and that is a really long time. When I met your father…well, I just knew I wanted to spend my life with him. And your clothes never bothered me, honey,” she says when I scoff in disbelief. “You’re a brilliant young woman, and I worry that with your fuller curves, men might not take you seriously if you highlight them.”
“That’s why?” I shake my head and laugh. “That makes sense, but times are different, Mother. I can dress to accentuate my body and be brilliant as well.”
“I see that, and that’s why I’m trying to be better.”
“Thank you, Mother. I really appreciate you saying that. I hope you have fun on your trip.”
“I fully plan to,” she says and returns to packing. “How about we make dinner together tonight like we used to when you were a girl?”
“I’m still a girl, Mother, and I’d like that,” I tell her and finally make my way to my room and collapse on the bed.
My mind wanders to Shades and the guys he works with. I’m not completely naïve or an idiot, or whatever they all think of me. I knew that man was threatening me even though he never said so directly. Just as I knew that coming to me to relay a message was a threat to Shades, but I don’t want any bloodshed, and definitely not in my name.
But here I am, caught in the middle of something I know nothing about. Shades, the beautiful frustrating man he is, refuses to tell me more about what’s going on. I don’t know if it’s because he doesn’t trust me or if it’s because it’s illegal, and that’s what worries me.
He’s been nothing but kind to me, and even today, his protective instincts took over the moment he realized one of his enemies had found me.
It’s nice that he feels protective, but ever since that man found me in the parking lot of my very own church, I can only think of the terrible things the other women went through due to their association with the Reckless Souls. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to survive that, and what kind of life would I have if I overcame that kind of horrendous assault?
Maybe I should have listened to Mother.
Maybe Shades isn’t the man for me.
It’s not too late,I tell myself unconvincingly. I haven’t fallen for Shades, not yet, but I’m starting to get the feeling that it’s inevitable. Is that how love works? Am I doomed to this fate simply because my heart picked him?
And if his heart picks me, does that mean a lifetime of looking over my shoulder, of danger lurking around every corner?
Can I live like that to have true love like my parents do?
The answer comes easily.
Absolutely.
