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But did Ifightfor her? Not really.
I never asked why she thought we couldn’t work, just made assumptions.
I never told her I’d be open to leaving Brookfield.
I never mentioned the fact that I’m more in love with her now than I was in high school.
Are those things you’re supposed to say right before you walk away? I don’t know, and I’m tired of never knowing what I should do or say when it comes to Sutton.
Our messy, complicated, consuming relationship should have been enough of a deterrent, should have allowed me to move on years ago to something simple and uncomplicated. But I jumped back in without hesitating.
I offered to go on tour. She proposed temporary.
We’re two forces colliding again and again, letting the collateral damage pile up off to the side.
I pull off at the gas station on my way home. It’s not until I’m out of the car that I recognize the one parked on the opposite side of the tank.
What are the chances?
In a town this small with one gas station, not that low, I guess.
“Hi, Tanya.”
“Teddy! Hi.” She fiddles with her keys, looking shocked to see me. “I didn’t realize you were back.”
“Got home a few hours ago.”
“How—how was it?”
“Good. Intense.”
She nods slowly, absorbing that answer, then cutting to the chase. “It looks like you and Sutton worked things out.”
“Not—not exactly. We aren’t together.”
“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”
I study her expression, and it looks genuine rather than miffed. I feel relieved.
“Thanks. Did you make it to the Grand Canyon?”
“Yeah. I—Chris and I went together, actually. Everyone else bailed, so it was just the two of us.
I blink. “Oh. Are you guys…”
Tanya blushes. “Um, sort of. We haven’t labeled anything.”
“That’s great,” I tell her. “I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks, Teddy. We’re all heading to Duke’s for drinks tonight, if you want to stop by.”
“Cool. Assuming jet lag doesn’t take me out by eight p.m., I’ll be there.”
Tanya smiles and nods before climbing into her car and driving away.
I’m left standing there, wondering how I can stay on good terms with every woman I break up with—I’m not sure how to characterize Ellie, but I think we’re on decent terms, at least—but I’m perpetually on the outs with a woman I’ve never officially dated.
