AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Did he lie, or did his answer change? More importantly, does it matter?
Last night, when I couldn’t sleep, I Googled the definition ofdream. It stuck in my head too, the applicable form of it at least—a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal.
Not super helpful. Dreams are something you strive for, yet they rarely become reality. It’s a complimentary farewell, I suppose.
The only issue is, I’m not sure if I want it to be goodbye. Spending forever without him is continuing to sound like a longer and longer time now that he’s gone. And if he comes to the Chicago show, I’ll have to look him in the eyes before one of us—or both—walks away again.
I pick my phone up and stare at it, debating. By the time I actually tap on Ellie’s number, my heart is racing, and my palms are sweating.
She answers with a groggy, “Hello?”
I glance at the clock. It’s notthatlate. Only—shit. It’s the middle of the night in London. Tennessee is six hours behind.
“Crap. I’m so sorry. I forgot about the time difference.”
There’s muffled movement on the other end of the line. “Is this payback?”
“For…”
“I woke you up, remember?”
“Oh.” I laugh awkwardly. “Right. Um, no, no payback. I just completely forgot about the time for a minute.”
Ellie yawns. “So, what’s up?”
It feels like my stomach is slowly being filled with cement. “I wanted to, uh, talk to you about something.” I start to fiddle with my hair, then remember it’s already been styled for the upcoming show and yank my hand away.
“Oh-kay…”
“It’s about Teddy.”
“Okay,” she repeats, just as apprehensively.
“And me. My feelings for Teddy, specifically.”
“I see.”
Does she? Seewhat?I don’t seeanything, especially how this is going to go.
“I like him. A lot.” I inhale. Exhale. “I probably even love him. And I’m just wondering, I guess, how upset you’d be if something…happened.”
Silence, then a sigh. “What do you want me to say, Sutton?”
I clear my throat. “Well,somethingwould be good.”
“You think I haven’t wondered about this for years? When you went back to Brookfield and Mom told me he broke up with the teacher he had been dating a few days later? At dinner, when he barely looked away from you?”
“I know we’ve never been close, Ellie, but I care about you. I don’t want Teddy to—I don’t wantmeand Teddy to…”
“I’m not going to lie to you. It’s weird for me. He was my first love…and my first heartbreak. But…honestly? I wasn’t either of his. I’m pretty sureyouwere. And even if you hadn’t been, we’d probably still be having this conversation. If that means my ex ends up as my brother-in-law, so be it.”
“No oneis talking about marriage. I don’t even know if he—I don’t know. I keep fucking up when it comes to him.”
“He’s crazy about you, Sutton. If you have any doubt, read one of the bajillion news articles dedicated to the topic. No one else is confused about it.”
“So…you’reokayabout it?”
“You don’t need my permission.”
