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“Shocked,” I admit.
Tessa beelines toward me and squeezes. “Gosh, this place is fantastic. I wish I could live here.”
I feel a pang of remorse. No one in this room knows about our plan for the new companies, least of all Cat. My eyes dart to Caris’s in concern.She knows not to mention the business and the distillery, right?As if she can sense my nerves, she smiles and winks.Okay, I guess Cash took care of that too.
“Yes, it’s beautiful, right?”
Tessa nods and then she laughs uncomfortably. “Although, I wouldn’t think a winery is a great place for a baby shower. Nice job, Cat! Really rubbing it in that Grace can’t drink.”
Cat holds her hand up. “Don’t blame me. This was Cash’s plan. I have a feeling it’s because he’s trying to woo Grace into loving Bristol, so she’ll agree to move here after the baby is born.”
If she only knew how little convincing he’d have to do. I’d move here in a heartbeat. He leased a condo for us for the next year so we can figure out what we want to do. We agreed to give this business plan a year to see if we’re both happy. Then we can reevaluate whether or not we want to stay in Bristol or commute from Boston.
Or somewhere else, I guess.
Or maybe he’s just waiting to see where we are in a year. It’s not like we’ve made a commitment to one another. I mean obviously we’re having a baby, but he still hasn’t proposed. Maybe he wants to see how we do at parenthood before we make anything permanent.
Even as my mind works, I roll my eyes internally. Cash isn’t going anywhere. He loves me.
“It’s a beautiful town,” I admit.
We spend the afternoon laughing and opening far more presents than there are people. Every single woman in this room spoiled our daughter, and I honestly can’t wait to see her in the tiny clothes that look like they wouldn’t fit a doll.
Are babies really that tiny? And why don’t any of my friends have one?I have no idea how to even hold a baby.It’s been years since I babysat, and it was never for infants.
By the time Cash and Frank come back, I’m spiraling. No one else in the room would know, but the second Cash’s eyes meet mine, it’s as if he can see my internal thoughts. He walks up and wraps his arms around me and nuzzles his head into my neck. “It’s a lot to take in, huh?”
I try to relax into his embrace, but I’m just a bunch of nerves. I grab one of the outfits and show it to him. “Cash, what are we doing? Have you ever held a baby? I mean look at how tiny this is!”
He chuckles against my neck. “We’ll figure it out.” He takes the outfit and stares at it for a moment, the smile still tickling his face. “Our baby is going to be wearing this soon,” he says with wonder and then lets his hand drift to my stomach.
She decides to give him a little fist bump or kick right at that moment, and both our eyes jump. “Looks like someone is already a daddy’s girl.”
Cash’s eyes crinkle. “Just like her mommy.”
I exhale a long breath and lean against him. “Sorry, I got a little crazy.”
Cash rubs circles against my stomach and kisses my temple. “It’s okay, Angel, I know this is a lot. New baby, new office, new house…”
I turn to him. “House?”
“I mean condo. You know what I mean.”
“Right. Speaking of, can we stay there this week? I want to get some stuff done in the Bristol office and get the nursery set up.”
Cash smiles. “Anything you want.”
After my admission to Frank in the car, and my freak-out at the baby shower, where Cash once again showed me he is the calming force I need in my life, I have come up with a plan to show Cash that he’s not in this alone.
For so long he’s been chasing after me, literally since the first day we met when he asked me to dinner and I didn’t show up, to our non-dates dates when he forced us to spend time together even though I knew enough about him to properly set him up with a match, to the day in Bristol when he caged me against the wall and told me he loved me. Even after he’d broken my heart, I still felt the pull of him. For once I want to show him that I want this just as badly as he does. Not because he wants to marry me, not because we’re having a baby, but because I really want to be his wife.I want to be his partner.
He’s made it all so much less scary by proving to me that he really knows me. That he gets me. And that I’m enough just as I am.
My plan is two-fold. The first part was put into place this past week while we were in Bristol. It’s the reason I asked if we could stay. I met with Caris to ask her to help with my little project since she knows more people in town than I do, and I’m pretty sure Cash is going to love the surprise.
The second part involves my mother. It’s time to let him in on the fact that she’s back in my life. Since our first lunch in January, we’ve seen each other almost weekly. It’s incredible how much she’s changed. She hasn’t forced me to tell her anything more about Cash. She hasn’t asked about his job, or his family, not even his last name. And I’ve kept my mouth shut because I know there is a history between my mother and Cash’s mom, and I’m not ready to bring those two worlds together. But the fact that I haven’t shared any of this with Cash feels crippling. We don’t need secrets.
At first I was nervous that he’d get angry about how she treated me, and he’d put his foot down about our lunches, but I know that’s not the case now. If he acted in anger it would only be because he cared, not because he was trying to control me. I wanted to give it time to make sure she really changed, to ensure that it wasn’t just some game.
