Page 15 of Loving Whiskey


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Chapter 8

Grace

It’sthestrangestthingto sit across from a person you pledged your life to, someone you saw yourself growing old and raising a family with, and feel nothing.

I expected to hate him. Or to want to launch across the table and squeeze his neck until his pupils grew and his face turned red. I’d certainly envisioned doing those things plenty of times after he told me he was having an affair. Or when he did the “explosive interview” regarding my relationship with Jonathan. Or when he turned my mother against me for the final time.

Yet, as I sit across from Steven, staring into his almost made-up face, his perfectly gelled hair, his smooth hands that he lotions every night, I feel absolutely nothing. He’s become such a stranger that I don’t even remember a time when I feltsomethingfor him. Not love, not hate, just anything. It’s like I lived an entire life since we split, and I can’t even be bothered to deal with the clean-up of eight years of my life.

His attorney speaks, and I stare at a crack in the wall behind both their heads. I’m more interested in how an attorney who I’m sure Steven is paying hundreds of dollars an hour can’t afford to caulk the wall. He really should have that checked out. It could be structural damage.

“Grace, do you understand?” my attorney asks.

I turn to her and smile. Nope, I don’t understand a thing. But I nod anyway because more than anything I want to get out of this room. I want to walk down the streets of Boston, enjoy the crisp fall air, and be free of the last of my baggage. Maybe I’ll buy an entirely new wardrobe. I can certainly afford it now. I feel my lips turning up in a smile, and my attorney hits me with her foot. I may be beaming a bit too much for a woman signing divorce papers.

“Well, that should take care of everything then. Steven will have his stuff out of the house by next week and you can move back in if you wish,” his attorney says.

I stand up and look down at my now ex-husband. “Oh, I didn’t want the house. I’ll be selling it.” His face morphs in complete shock. I’d made such a big deal about all the money I’d spent on the rehab that it only seemed fair that I got it in the divorce.

Suckers.

They’re so surprised that neither says a word. I take the opportunity to sneak out before they have a chance to ruin my mood.

In the hallway, my attorney laughs. “Did you enjoy that?”

“Um, yes. Didn’t you?”

She smiles. “You might just be the happiest divorcée I’ve ever had. At least as far as women who’ve been cheated on goes.”

I shrug. “He did me a favor. Can you believe I would have had kids with that man?”

A tap on my shoulder leaves me rigid. Oh, shit, I was probably being obnoxiously loud. Turning around slowly, I scrunch my face in embarrassment when I see Steven scowling at me. “A moment, please?”

I roll my eyes and sigh before turning around to my attorney to say goodbye. She gives me a pitiful wave and disappears down the corridor. I turn back to my ex. “What can I do for you?”

“Feels weird, doesn’t it?” he asks introspectively.

I knit my brows together. “I guess.”

That’s all it takes for his face to get red and his breathing to escalate. “You know, I thought you’d appreciate that I fought you on nothing. I gave you everything. I get that I was wrong, but after eight years together you would think you could at least appreciate everything I gave up.”

His opinion means so little to me that only a bitter laugh escapes. “Yes, I really should be more appreciative. Thank you, Steven,” I say, placating him. “I never would have left you if not for the affair, and I am so much happier now without you. So from the bottom of my heart,thank you.” I offer him a fake smile, pull my hands together in prayer, and dip my head in appreciation. Then I turn to walk away. He doesn’t get to waste any more of my time.

Steven’s sweaty hand grabs at my wrist, and he pulls me close to him, his breath heating my skin as he whispers into my ear, “It’s a good thing it was all just gossip about you and Hanson. But if you end up sleeping with someone, I’d use protection. I’m pretty sure your birth control is useless.”

I push myself away from him and stare into his icy cold eyes. He has the audacity to smirk, and if we weren’t in the hallway of his lawyer’s office, I would slap him right across the face. My breathing is heavy, and thoughts swirl in my head as I try to make sense of his threat.

Before I can reply, he’s gone. I guess I didn’t get the last word after all.

“What do you think he meant by that?” Tessa asks as she sits on my bed. Once again, I’m searching through my closet for something to wear because Cat and Tessa convinced me that we have to celebrate tonight.

Even I’m surprised by how friendly Cat has been. She’s a completely different person from when I was dating her brother. I wouldn’t exactly say we’re friends. That would be stretching it. But ever since we had to spend time together for work, I don’t mind being around her so much. Besides, there is a sadness I recognize in her—a loneliness that comes from being motherless—that I seem innately drawn to.

And she doesn’t appear to have any friends. I almost feel obligated to take her under our wing. Or at least that’s what Tessa tells me we feel. I think it’s really just Tessa’s guilt from destroying all of our lives, but seeing as how I could use a cocktail to celebrate the dissolution of my nuptials, I don’t mind so much.

Spinning around, I shrug. “I don’t know, but I am not taking any risks. I threw those pills right in the trash. I never thought Steven was enough of a psycho to mess with my birth control pills, but I also never thought he’d try to blackmail me or go to the press with lies about me, or you know, turn my mother against me, or cheat on me. So really, I mean, how can I trust anything I thought about him?”

Tessa bites her lip in solidarity. “Fucking douche.”

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