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Chapter 14
Cash
Fuck.
Seeing her with him, watching the way his fingers dug into her hip protectively, as if she belongs to him, makes me want to put my fist through a wall. I can’t even hate him for protecting her though. She needs the protection. I’m no good for her. To be fair, she’s no good for me either, but I’m acutely aware that I’ve inflicted my fair share of damage.
From the second floor I watch as he spins her, and she laughs. Even in a club full of people her energy pulls my attention. I couldn’t unsee her if I tried.
This thing I’m doing is unhealthy, stalking the woman I claim to hate. Obsessing over the way other men look at her. Wondering whether Hayden knows the way her skin tastes, the sounds she makes when she’s losing control, if she grips his head of hair the way she dug her fingers into mine when I whispered kisses against her most sensitive parts.
I wonder if she tells him her innermost thoughts, shares a coffee with him in the morning before going to work, brushing a kiss against his lips with a small smile on her own. I hope if they are together, he draws her a bath and dances with her in the kitchen. It kills me to think of anyone else doing these things with her, but it hurts more to imagine that no one does.
Jealousy makes you do crazy things, and the craziest thing would be to not walk away. For her and for me, it’s the right thing to do. Let her be happy. She won’t find happiness with me. I’m incapable of forgiving her.
A stronger man would admit defeat. A better man would leave. But I never claimed to be a better man.
