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Chapter 17
Grace
Thiswasaterribleidea. I don’t know what made me even consider doing what I’m about to do.
Okay, that’s a lie. I know exactly what made me do it. It was the rousing speech I gave to one of my latest bachelorettes. She was so in her head, like I always am, and I saw her spiraling. I just wanted to instill some confidence, and after my orgasm-infused Saturday night, I think my brain short-circuited to only consider confidence and orgasms.
I made her a deal. If she agreed to step out of her comfort zone, go dancing with one of my prospects, then I’d take a leap as well. I don’t know why I admitted to her that I had a secret rendezvous with an ex at a sex club. She was scandalized, in the best way possible.
It made me view the entire night in a different light. For once I hadn’t thought about something six different ways before I’d done it. The only times in my life I acted without thinking were with Cash. And there was something incredibly freeing about it.
Like jumping out of a plane knowing you’ll survive. You take the leap and soar. I’ve survived the heartbreak…I deserve a little happy.
I still hate what he did to me. But the bitterness is slightly less intense. Like taking what I wanted from him, without any thought as to his wants or needs, gave me the tiniest bit of closure.
Well, obviously not closure because only a week later, I’m considering opening my legs again.
Power.That’s what it gave me. It gave me my power back.
And after he left me broken on the floor, God, did I need some power back.
At Black Label, I got it in spades, because it’s now clear that Cash still wants me. And when he replied to my text almost immediately and agreed to meet me again…I had the power.
I can choose to show up or ghost him.
I can choose to strip down naked, or I walk out and leave him with blue balls. In the end I have the power.
And if I’m being honest, it feels really fucking good.
The man with the rope smiles at me and winks. “You’re in Room 12.”
I’m not sure how I feel about the fact that the bouncer at a sex club recognizes me. Also, what does he mean Room 12? I thought we’d just go to the same balcony, fit in a quickie, and be on our way. I don’t want to go to a room!
“You look nervous,” the man says to me. He has a kind demeanor. “Do you want me to let him know you changed your mind?”
My frown is almost instantaneous. I’d walked into the club with the attitude of a sex goddess, and already the real Grace is making an appearance. “Is it that obvious?” I whisper.
He chuckles good-naturedly. “You are not the first woman to have second thoughts. It’s natural. I think the man just wanted to give you a little privacy. This isn’t one of the voyeur rooms.”
Voyeur rooms? God am I in over my head.
Shock adorns my face. “I…uh…”
Think, Grace,do you just want to leave?
“Room 12. Okay,” I say making my decision.
I’m taking back my power. I’m going to walk into that room with confidence, take what I want from Cash—my orgasm—and then leave on my own terms.
His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but he holds out his hand as if to say,off you go.
Swinging my hips as I walk, I remind myself of the control I hold over the man in room 12. I’m going to bring him to his knees.
But when I reach the door, I pause.
Do I knock? Just enter? What is the proper protocol before entering a room in a sex club?
The giggle sneaks out of me, and I peek to the side to see if anyone is witnessing my utter hilarity, my breakdown, the moment I completely lose it.
