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Chapter 35
Cash
ItwasMondaywhenI asked her to dinner. Monday was the last time I saw her, touched her, spoke to her, and yet somehow, I had to get through an entire week of work, waiting and wondering when she would text, and hoping she wanted to see me Friday and not Saturday. I physically don’t know if I can be patient enough to make it through another night and day without her.
I want to know how the baby is. How she is. Has she been to the doctor? When is she due? I want to feel the swell of her stomach again below the palm of my hand, I want to whisper to our baby how loved it is already, and I need to convince my child’s mother that I’m all in.
But the time has also been a blessing because I’m not ready for her yet. I want to be. Actually, fuck that, what I really want, what I would do anything to have, is the ability to go back in time to the moment after Cat walked into my office and dropped the bombshell about Grace’s interview with Vanessa and to react differently. To trust the woman I love. To gain just a moment of clarity before I threw literally everything that mattered away. Because if I could do that, then I wouldn’t be sitting here at my desk right now trying to figure out precisely how I can win back the only woman I’ve ever loved.
The woman who even when I thought I hated her, consumed my every thought.
Which is why I just spent the last hour with Lydia, opening up about my feelings for Grace, dealing with the revelation that she was much closer with my mother than even I thought, and discussing what it means now that I know Grace’s baby is mine.
I also told her about my father’s accusations. We’ll be working through those for a long time.
If I can’t get Grace back, if I don’t wear her down, I’ll likely end up just like my father. A fact that scares the shit out of me.
The funny thing is, I’d already done this. Months ago, I worked hard to win Grace over. To prove to her what we had was real. It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was pretty fucking messy. We hurt each other quite a bit during the process, but in the end we were able to be honest with one another and we both admitted that what we had was real, that it was once in a lifetime, and we both fell in love.
That can’t just go away. No matter how much I’ve fucked it up, even if Hayden is still in the picture…fuck, it’s not ideal, but I’ll be damned if he could love her as much as I do.
The thought that he could be raising my child with her—that she could choose to spend her life with someone else and I’ll just have to sit on the sidelines and watch…
No, it can’t happen. She’s mine. And one way or another I’ll prove that to her.
As I sit pondering where to take Grace to dinner if she ever actually calls, Frank walks in the door with a somber look on his face.
“Found him,” he says, throwing a stack of photos on my desk.
As much as I don’t want to deal with whatever drama Chaseis involved in, I know I have no choice but to look down. I just don’t expect to see what I find.
“He’s with our father?” I say, the shock evident in my tone.
I can’t fathom why Chase would run to our father after learning the true story of his birth. What was he hoping to gain from spending time with him? The man is a pathological liar, a cheater, and apparently a pedophile. I can understand Chase seeking out his birth mom, but not our father. It makes no sense.
“Why?”
Frank shakes his head. “I haven’t figured that out yet, but at least we know where he is now.”
I grimace. “I don’t know, Frank, it’s like something is missing here. First, the story of his birth miraculously leaks but doesn’t actually come out. Then we are forced into merging with Hanson, which leaves all sorts of power up for grabs. Now Chase is with our dad. I mean, if I didn’t know better, I’d think they were all connected. That somehow Hanson put this all in place. It just…something doesn’t feel right.”
My skin crawls from all the deception, from all the games and lies that feel eerily strategic.
“What would Hanson gain from your father coming back into the picture?” Frank asks honestly.
I shake my head and growl in frustration, pulling at the hair on my head. “I don’t know. But I’m telling you, all of this was put into motion when we started going after the same deal. The samegirl.”
My eyes narrow as I meet Frank’s eyes.
“Right, but now Grace is with his brother, not Jonathan. So that backfired.”
I ground my teeth. “Grace isn’twithHayden. She didn’t arrive with him at the engagement party, and she didn’t leave with him.”
Frank scoffs. “Well, she’s certainly not with you.”
“If she were with Hayden, she wouldn’t have agreed to dinner with me.”
Frank smirks. “Has she texted you yet?”
