Page 83 of Loving Whiskey


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Softly, I reply, “It’s your special place.”

He nods and I feel my throat tighten.He brought me to his special place.

“So why did you choose it, Cash?” I ask even though I’m not sure I’m prepared for the answer.

He squeezes my hand. “Because we have something to celebrate. A baby…our baby.” He looks down between us toward my hidden stomach, then clears his throat. “And hopefully a new start for us. I just wanted to commemorate it in the way that my family does. I know it’s not fancy and maybe I should have taken you somewhere quieter so we could talk, but I just…”

I put my hand on his leg and squeeze it reassuringly. “It’s perfect, Cash. Thank you for sharing that.”

I blow out a breath, and he chuckles nervously. “God, this is hard, isn’t it?” he asks.

“I think it will get easier. We’re just…reacclimating,” I offer.

“You really do look gorgeous, Angel,” he whispers as he lifts his hand and pushes a few strands of hair behind my ear. That simple touch sends a flurry of butterflies through my stomach and I press my eyes shut, memorizing how beautiful this moment is. “I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you.”

I smile sadly because I have missed this man. But the one who destroyed me I didn’t waste any time missing. I hated him. I’m just trying to reconcile the two.

The chef arrives and starts his show. He throws zucchini and Cash and Timothy eye one another when they catch piece after piece in their mouths. I laugh the entire time, seeing a future that feels almost too good to be true.

We eat and we talk, and we ease back into just being in the same space together. At the end of the night when the hostess comes out with a gong and fried ice cream for the entire table with sparklers on top, my heart skips a beat. The moms look shocked and ask if this is a freebie, and Cash winks at the hostess. In that moment, I know he splurged and got ice cream for everyone.

He’s going to make a wonderful father.

He smiles wide as he waits for me to take a bite, and I may overcompensate on my moan in excitement. It is good, but notthatgood. But seeing Cash like this, like the man he was when I first met him, like the boy I know he had been with his siblings on his birthday, without a mother or father, but still just looking to make everyone happy, it makes me want to make him happy.

“Thank you for tonight,” I whisper as we reach the door of my apartment, and then I add, “And thank you for all the gifts this week. It was very sweet.”

Cash’s eyes catch mine and he holds my gaze. “Thank you, Gracie. I know I don’t deserve the second chance. God, I know I fucked up everything between us, but just being with you tonight, being close to you, being yourfriend—it’s everything.”

I try to breathe through his words, but the entire night is taking me by surprise. I want to kiss him. I want to lose myself in him. I want to forget the last few months ever happened, and I want to go home with him tonight. To our home. The place we became us. But it’s not that easy. Because everything did happen. And as much as I remember the man I met months ago, I also remember the man he became.

“Cash, I…” I falter for words as I stand at my door, wondering if I should invite him in.

Reaching out, he brushes the hair behind my ear before moving his hand behind my neck and pulling me close. With only a whisper between us, he breathes against my mouth, “Have dinner with me again this week?”

My eyes drop to his lips and then rise to his again.

Kiss me, I want to beg.

“Do you want to come in?” I hear myself ask.

Dammit, I didn’t even mean to say it, and my eyes register my nervousness.

Cash leans in and kisses my cheek. “No, Angel.”

My stomach twists at his rejection. Maybe he does just want to be friends. The yo-yoing jolts me in surprise.

“Not because I don’t want to. God, Grace, the things I want to do to you. The places I want totasteyou, the way I want to make you moan in pleasure…” he groans. “It’s almost painful. But we’ve always been good at that—the pleasure.” He raises his eyes and I feel myself clench. “The next time I strip you down and worship your body, I want you to trust that I’ll never hurt you again. When I sink into you, I want to know that you’re mine and mine alone. So, no, I can’t come in tonight. I’m going to prove to you that I want more than your body.” He leans in and kisses me softly against the mouth, and I practically purr like a kitten, begging him to take me now that he’s just so much as told me the way he would touch me if he could.

I nod against his mouth, though, because all the things he’s said to me, I want them too. I want to be his. I know that now. This passion, this all-consuming feeling—he’s the only one that’s ever made me feel this way. I can’t live without it. But for the sake of this baby, I need to make sure we do this the right way.

“So dinner?” he asks again.

“Name the day.”

Cash laughs. “Is tomorrow too soon?”

I smile. “I think I can fit you into my schedule.”

He brushes his thumb against my lips, and I see the war in his eyes. I don’t know what the war is. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I hate seeing it.

I lean into his touch and press my mouth against his, giving both of us a moment’s peace. His lips are soft, and I bite down on his bottom one right before I lose myself completely and stick my tongue in his mouth. He groans, and for a moment I’m in heaven.

“Just a taste,” I say, pulling away. Before I can get past his grip, he smiles at me and squeezes my hand again, three little pulses that I’m beginning to live for. I lean in once more to press a kiss against his jaw and then slip in the door and close it before I lose my nerve. I lean against the back of it, panting, and listen to him push back into the door as well. I imagine he’s just as breathless as I am. Just as confused. And just as in love. The feeling is still there.

A few minutes later, I hear him walk down the steps, and the engine of the car turns over as he drives away.

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