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TWENTY-FIVE
Cash
I thought it would all be okay because I have a free pass—that means I shouldn’t give a fuck what happens to anyone else. Since we’ve been here, all that’s mattered to me is keeping Ben and me safe, and I’ve done that…for the most part.
Sitting safely in the stands, our outfits crisp and clean, I feel anything but safe.
Becauseshe’snot.
Why?
Why did I let her in?
Why couldn’t I be stronger and force all thoughts of her from my mind?
I’m failing myself—failing Ben—I should be able to turn a blind eye to her struggle even as she battles a fucking jaguar with such ferocity that it takes my breath away.
She’s magnificent.
Strong and powerful, determined and proud, Remi is so much more than every other female I’ve ever met, fucked, used, or rejected. She stands tall among them all, in spite of her short stature, shining like a beacon calling to me. To Ben. And by the white knuckles gripping his knees, to Professor Vaughn as well.
Fuck.
Of course, he could be upset that his prissy little girlfriend is fighting for her life. It’s really hard to tell. He protects Bianca, that much is obvious, but still withholds affection from her. Either he wants to hide how he really feels for the brunette, or maybe that little stunt Remington pulled in his office was more than just a quick blow job.
She’s affecting him, just like she affects us. She’s like a drug that I can’t get enough of, and here I am addicted, furiously tapping my arm for the best vein so I can submit to my addiction, taking as much of her into me as I possibly can to relieve this ache I feel inside.
Except I can’t.
I’m helpless.
Vulnerable in a way that I never thought I’d ever allow myself to be. But here I fucking am, struggling to inhale a breath in fear she might be taking her last, and I don’t wish to deprive her of the air. I’d suffocate for her. Drown for her. Claw out my own eyes and hand them up to her on bloody palms if it would mean her survival.
It’s only been ten minutes since the students entered the maze, yet it feels like an eternity. Each second that ticks by pounds in my skull like a drum, my heart racing in my chest as if the quickness of the beats could somehow guide her and give her strength to pull through this.
“She’ll be okay.”
I jerk at Ben’s words, forgetting for a moment that he’s with me—that he’s struggling too—hating that my unease is so fucking obvious. Because I’d rather whip my own dick again than let Professor fucking Vaughn know what the little lassie does to me. It’s another weapon in his arsenal to punish us with.
And one thing is certain—Ben and I will survive this, which means we will have to continue enduring the wrath of Principal Windsor executed through Professor Vaughn.
I stare up at one of the four enormous screens depicting various areas of the maze, my eyes darting between them, hoping to catch a glimpse of Remi’s curly blonde hair or her bright blue eyes.
“How can you be so sure?” I keep my voice low, hoping Vaughn can’t hear me.
Ben shrugs. “I just have to believe it. To consider any other option is…”
“Fatal,” Professor Vaughn finishes, proving he can easily hear, and my hands clench into fists because he’s right in so many ways.
Her very existence on this earth is on the line, and somehow so is mine. If she doesn’t survive this… if she doesn’t make it through… I know I’ll never be the same. Like it or not, this woman has changed me, though I’m not sure it's for the better. There’s a ruthlessness growing inside me, a callousness emerging more virulent than before.
I don’t give a fuck about anything or anyone as long as she lives to see another morning waking up between Ben and me. Another night bound to my bed where we inflict depraved things to her body. Another hour where I can invade her mind, learn everything I can about her, drinking every inch of her in, consuming all that is Remington.
Addicted.
And I know now I’ll never fucking recover.
Ben slaps my arm and points at a screen. I swallow hard seeing her terrified face flash before me. Even sweat-soaked and covered in a smattering of someone else’s blood, Remi’s still the most gorgeous creature I’ve ever seen. The drone with the camera zooms back, giving us the entire scene to watch.
