Page 61 of Roughing It


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Chapter18

Eden

He ran. He ran, and it hurts every bit as I was afraid it would. Watching him turn his back on me and leave the room like I was nothing more than a switch that could be turned off is far worse than when John laughed in my face. It hurts more than anything’s hurt in a long damn time.

I mean, it’s expected. I’m well aware the both of us caught feelings in what was supposed to be a fling—a way to pass time while I was trapped in a cabin in the middle of the woods with a bunch of strangers. Maddox was supposed to be the ego-stroking I needed after John’s cruelty and Monty’s bullshit.

He wasn’t supposed to crawl under my skin and stay there. He wasn’t supposed to make my heart pound and my breath catch and my body crave him like I’ve never craved anything before.

I know there’s nothing I can do about my situation right now. Even if I wanted to stay, I have a life. I don’t have the savings to cover the fees if I decide to break my lease, and my resume can’t afford to say that I was fired for a job over a weekend getaway.

Am I miserable in the city? Yes. I wish to god I was as reckless and wild as Flor. I wish I was willing to just give everything up and drag Maddox back to my room and keep him there. But I’m not. I never have been.

I don’t know what I’d have done if Maddox had asked me to stay, but he didn’t. He was hurt—the pain obvious on his face—and he turned away from me.

Sitting there at the table with the lodge manager staring at me, I shift in my seat, then clear my throat. “I should go get packed up.”

She makes a noncommittal noise, then steps back with a nod. “Yeah, of course. I’ll be down in the lobby when you’re ready.”

I nod back at her, then make my way toward the lounge doors. There’s still no one in the lobby, which had been a blessing when I first made my way through, surreptitiously looking for Maddox, who had absconded at some point either during the night or in the early morning hours.

I didn’t think anything would feel worse than waking up and realizing he’d taken all of his shit and left me there with no note and no goodbye, but I guess I was wrong. This just piled right on top of it, and if I think too hard, I know I’m going to cry.

I manage a couple of shaky breaths as I head back up to my room, and it almost feels like a stranger has been living there. As I start throwing my clothes back into my little suitcase, reality starts to creep in. Suddenly, I can picture what tomorrow will be like, stepping into the office and smiling and pretending like I hadn’t left my heart in the middle of nowhere.

And it’s an odd feeling, the idea that one of these days, I’ll wake up and not remember exactly what Maddox’s eyes look like, or the sound of his laugh, or how his mouth felt as it laid kisses on mine. I’ll forget what he smelled like and the sensation of waking up in someone’s arms.

I’m not foolish enough to think I won’t find someone else—someone who will treat me the way I deserve. And it’s almost painful to know that person won’t be Maddox.

Swallowing back a lump in my throat, I zip the suitcase closed, then pull my phone out of my pocket. I’ve texted with Flor and Sage a couple of times, letting them know I was okay, and it only seems fair to call Sage now with a quick update.

It rings twice before he picks up, and he sounds exhausted. “Hey, you. I’ve been worried about you all night.”

I smile at the reminder that he really is such a sweet guy. “I’m good, I promise. How’s Flor doing?”

“She had a bad pain night,” Sage says. “She’s finally asleep now.”

I sigh and drop down onto the bed. All I really want is to curl up in bed with my best friend and let her comfort me, but I’m not about to dump this problem on her lap while she’s recovering. “Well, I wanted to let you know that they’ve gotten some of the roads clear. I’ve got a ride back down, and I think by tomorrow, it should be safe if you want to come get your car.”

“I’ll send someone for it,” Sage tells me, then yawns so hard I can hear his jaw crack. “Honey, you want me to send a car for you?”

I shake my head, then remember he can’t see me. “No. I need to get back to town ASAP. I sent an email to my boss Sunday night and let him know that I was stuck, but he’s gonna be up my ass if I’m not back in the office tomorrow.”

Sage lets out a small sigh. “You should quit that place. I know like six people hiring right now—”

“Thanks, but I’m good,” I tell him, interrupting him only because he tells me this all the time. He lets me rant about how much I hate my job whenever the three of us are together, but after a few minutes, he’s always trying to pass me over to someone else’s firm as if it won’t be the same bullshit. But I know he means it out of love. He just can’t really see past his own nose like most men who grew up in that world.

Maddox might be the first and only person I know who disconnected from it completely.

“If you change your mind,” Sage starts.

“You’ll be the first person I call. Give Flor a hug from me, and tell her to call me when she’s feeling better.”

Sage snorts. “Yeah. You know she’s going to call you way before that. She’s been dying to know what you’ve been doing up there by yourself.”

I flush hard, and I’m beyond grateful no one can see me right now. “Trust me, it wasn’t anything to write home about. Anyway, get some rest,” I tell him, and we say a quick goodbye before I hang up and do one more pass around the room to make sure I have everything.

All stray hair ties and phone cords are tucked into my bag, and I make my way to the front. There’s a small part of me—this little spark of hope burning deep in my gut—that thinks Maddox will be waiting, but instead, I just see Zara with a very tall, very broad man with a high fade and sharp edges, wearing flannel and muddy jeans.

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