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As I walk back, I can’t help but wonder what the point is. Every second, it becomes clearer that nothing is going to change. So why don’t I break up with him?
I let out a sigh. I think it might be time.
Time to end things once and for all.
I shake my head at myself. I’m definitely not going to break up with him at school. I’ll give it the weekend and see how I feel.
Give yourself more time to be a chickenshit.
Shut up, brain.
As the table comes into view—now completely full of people since Nick and Leigh have sat back down, along with Maia and Vince—I decide I don’t want to deal with anyone else right now. I’ve had enough.
Instead, I make a quick right and head out the nearby doors and over to a bench overlooking the parking lot and tennis courts.
About two seconds later, the bench shifts as Aaron sits down next to me. “What did he say to you?” he asks, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
“Same old, same old. Wants me to choose him over you guys.” I glance up at him. “Overyou. It’s official. Our closeness has fucked both of our relationships.”
He laughs. “Fuckedmight be the wrong word.”
I roll my eyes and give him a little shove. “Ha ha. I’m being serious here.”
“I know,” he says softly. “But it’s not our closeness, it’s their insecurities.”
I shake my head. “I think that’s downplaying our role in this. Neither of us are completely innocent. If we’d seen them like that with other people, we’d have been insecure too. I’m not making excuses for their behavior, but we didn’t make it easy.”
“You’re talking like it’s already over between you and Davey.”
“Because it is. I might not have ended it yet, but it’s only a matter of time. Apparently, I’m too much of a chickenshit to do it.” I can’t help but laugh at that. “Davey always said I was bold. Where’s my boldness now?”
“It’s not as easy to feel bold when you’re hurting,” he says gently.
“Yeah, I guess. Anyway, thanks for listening to my thousandth venting session about Davey.”
“Come on, Beautiful, don’t you know I’d doanythingfor you?” he asks with a cheeky grin.
“Maybe that’s part of the problem.”
“You want me to stop?” he asks, somewhere between playful and serious.
I look up at him and my eyes dance. “Never, Ace.”
“Good.”
He kisses my temple, and I lean my head against his shoulder.
I may feel conflicted in every other way, but at least this always makes sense.
When Sarah and I walk through the back door into Joel’s house before heading to the party that I totally don’t want to go to, the boys and Mackie are all laughing and joking with Jesse.
Jesse straightens up when he sees us.
“Well, well, you two are looking sexy as ever,” he says, walking over and giving each of us a hug.
When he steps back, his eyes covertly roll up and down my body. Or maybe not so covertly, given that I noticed, and so did Joel, who slugs him in the arm.
“Dude, don’t look at her like that.”
