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Dad wraps an arm around her and says, “With a lot of help.” He chuckles. “I was rough around the edges when I first met your mother. Not into anything bad, but I was…sharp. But your mother saw a softness in me. She was patient and understanding. It’s like she saw through what my home growing up had made me, down to the person I was beneath all that. She became my safe place. She taught me what family is. And, of course, I think you both know, she learned that from somewhere. Bea and Pete welcomed me into their family and showed me what love is. Pete’s mother let me live in the tiny carriage house behind her house when I finally moved out. Before that, I spent many nights sleeping on the couch here at the farmhouse, knowing I was safe.”
“That sounds really hard,” Sarah says.
“It was. But it also wasn’t. Because the family I left wasn’t a family at all. They certainly weren’t mine. They didn’t choose me. They didn’t fight for me. I’m not sure if they ever—” Dad’s breath catches and my heart aches. I loop my arm through his and rest my head on his shoulder. “I’m not sure if they ever loved me. But even if they did, I know it wasn’t in the way I deserved. Anyway.” He pauses and wipes a tear from his eye.
“I wanted to talk to the two of you about this, because I want you to understand what family is. Whatloveis. And how important it is to take responsibility for that.”
“Responsibility?” I ask.
He nods. “I remember one night when I was struggling, I was melting down. I was mean to your mother, who was being so calm with me. Like I said, she was my safe place, my home. I knew I could show her any side of me and she’d still love me. After that happened, though, Pete took me outside and had a talk with me. Not as a father worried about his daughter—he knew your mom could handle herself—but man to man. Father to son. He told me that when people love you and they choose you and they show up for you, you have a responsibility to them and to that love. He said my ‘parents’ weren’t responsible with whatever love I’d given them. He also told me that when I lashed out, that wasn’t being responsible for the love your mother gave me.”
“So, we can’t have bad days?” Sarah asks.
“No. I’m not saying that. Weallhave bad days. But when we continually make choices to push people away or undermine their love ortest them—” Sarah’s eyes widen at that statement. “—we’re not taking accountability for the fact that they love us, that our words and actions can affect and hurt them. It’s not always easy to do. But it’s important. I don’t want to see either of you lose out on love or ruin a relationship because you aren’t respectful of the love you’re given.”
He turns to Sarah. “I know your heart aches. I understand it. But doing stupid shit or pushing Trevor away can undermine that love. Now, your mother and I and your sister, this whole family—and I suspect your best friends—will never stop loving you.We’re your family.But that doesn’t mean it feels good to watch you travel down a path that only serves to hurt yourself and others. And when it comes to Trevor… well, romantic love can be different. I hope that whoever you end up with is your safe place, who feels like home, who becomes your family, but it can take time to get there. Love can be destroyed if you don’t take care of it. That’s why those vows always say ‘honor and cherish’ because it’s important to honor your love and cherish what you have. But it should be long before marriage, or you might undermine the whole thing before you ever get there.” He sighs. “Anyway, the TLDR—”
“Oh my god, Dad. You didn’t just say that.” Sarah and I both laugh.
“Fine. The simple lesson is—”
“Open your heart and love,” Sarah says softly, echoing what Gram and Mom have told us for years. Something I think we both struggle with in different ways.
He bumps his knee against hers. “So, you do listen.”
She smirks at him. “On occasion.”
He pulls her tight to him and kisses the side of her head, then does the same to me. “All right, your friends should be here soon. I’ll release you to go have fun.”
Sarah stands up, then extends her hand to me.
“You coming, Dad?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Nah, your mom will find me soon enough.”
“Meaning you’re gonnamake out,” Sarah teases.
He chuckles. “Get out of here unless you wanna see it.”
We both giggle and head back toward the party.
“How do you feel?” I ask Sarah.
She exhales forcefully. “Kinda crappy. I know how I treated Trev tonight. I don’t know. It’s like I’m trying to make sure heismy safe place.”
“Are you not sure if you love him?” I ask, surprised. Because she and Trev have been crazy for each other for so long.
“No. I know I love him. I care for him so deeply. But I want to make sure it’s the kind of love Dad talked about. But, he’s right, testing him isn’t the way to know that.”
I lean over and kiss her cheek as we get back to the backyard filled with hanging lights, boisterous laughter, and so much love.
Sarah’s eyes search for Trevor, picking him out of the group of our cousins almost immediately.
She squeezes my hand, then hurries over to talk to him as I make my way toward the back deck.
I watch as Sarah leans into Trevor and says a few words, her eyes filled with emotion. Trevor’s hands roll up and down her arms as he drops his forehead against hers and whispers something back. She throws her arms around his neck and I’m about to turn away because I know kissing is coming. Before I can move, two big arms wrap around me, literally sweeping me off my feet and spinning me around as I screech. When I land back on my feet, I’m face to face with Aaron, who is beaming at me. “Hey, Beautiful.”
I shake my head. “Hi, Ace.” I step forward and give him a big hug. He squeezes me tightly in return and that familiar feeling of safety washes over me.
I think back to what my dad said about how he always knew he was safe with my mom.
As I look up at Aaron, I wonder if the reason I feel safe with him is because there’ssomethingthere. But before I can get too far down that road, Miles, Joel, and Mackie run over. Joel practically yanks me out of Aaron’s arms and scoops me into one of his bear hugs.
Sarah runs over and jumps onto Miles’s back, wrapping her arms around his neck as he laughs. Aaron throws an arm over Mackie’s shoulders.
It’s notjustAaron I feel safe with. It’s all of my best friends. I think it’s because they’re my family. I mean, that’s why my dad felt that way with my mom, right?
I look between my best friends and think of what Grandpa said earlier. Family is the people who choose each other. And wealwayschoose each other. It might not make sense, but that’s how the six of us have always been. More than six best friends. Family, forever.
