Page 82 of If I Were Wind


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I wrinkled my nose. “A dragon?”

He lifted a shoulder. “I think the whole duce story is bollocks, if you ask me, but a duce beast should be some sort of reptile.”

“Why don’t you believe a beast can turn into a duce?”

“I’ve never seen one.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “A condottiero is already a rare thing, but a twelve-foot-tall, dragon-like beast? I don’t believe it, and I don’t trust what people said two centuries ago.”

“Why the Baptised?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “The man was conflicted. During the Battle of Culloden, he was supposed to fight for the English, but he refused to fight at all. See, his foster parents were Scottish. He grew up in Aberdeen. Commander Norton, who led Raven Park at that time, didn’t want to charge him with treason and sentence his best fighter to death because he threatened to join the Jacobites. So, in exchange for his neutrality, Norton allowed him to be baptised. Aidan was worried that, since he was a beast, his soul was destined to hell. As a fervent Catholic, he wished to be baptised, but Norton had always refused to grant him that simple wish.”

“Interesting. He lived so long.” There was something that nagged me about Aidan’s age, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.

“While we are here.” Roy opened his jacket and took out a gun. “This is the perfect place to do some gun practice.”

A sudden stiffness stole up my neck. Driving a car was one thing, but shooting quite another. “I’m not fond of guns.”

“I don’t mean to blackmail you, but if you want to come with me, you have no choice. I’ll feel better knowing that you can handle a gun if the need arises. Every agent must know how to shoot. The only problem is that we have very little time to practise, but at least you’ll know the basics.” He handed me the gun. “This is a Beretta. Easy to use and light.”

I didn’t take it.

He caressed my cheek. “I hope you don’t have to use it, but I’m not going to make the same mistake again and not prepare you as best as I can.”

What did I say about the sexual tension? It was creeping back between us. But there was also something else, something sweeter, a tenderness that had nothing to do with the hopeless attraction between us.

I closed my fingers around the cold metal. “Let’s get started.”

~ * ~

THE AMOUNT OF information I had to read, study, and memorise kept me busy for a whole week. I had to learn Venlo’s map and the names of its main streets by heart. I still got confused in London, and the Dutch language wasn’t quite like German, although I could easily understand the meaning of some written words. Treading Venlo’s streets under the pressure of a dangerous mission would get me lost in a minute. Hence the map memorising. Not that Roy needed to know that. He would start a new rant about how he didn’t want to put my life at risk and try to leave me behind.

Our contact, the man we were to meet, was none other than Traube himself. He hadn’t trusted our agents with any delicate information so far, but had said he was conflicted and wished to tell us what the Nazis were doing with Nathan. Between Roy’s experience with spies and my recently developed skill, we should be able to extract more information without him suspecting anything. The first to approach Traube would be Murphy himself. We’d intervene in the event Traube was double-crossing us. The Venlo operation didn’t sound like an extremely dangerous mission to me. If Traube was genuinely interested in cooperating with us, Roy and I would have nothing to do aside from tasting oliebollens and buying tulips.

Sitting in Roy’s office with a cup of steaming tea in front of the warm hearth reminded me of those days when I’d started to work with him before the world turned into a bizarre circus of conspiracies and traitors.

“Have you memorised the map of Venlo?” Roy asked from the other side of the desk, his stern brow creasing.

“I’ve memorised the streets around the meeting point and those that lead to our escape route.” Hoping we wouldn’t need it.

“It’s very important that you know exactly where you have to go, if pursued. Knowing only the main roads won’t help you, not if you need to change route and be flexible in your choices.” That frown deepened without mercy.

“I’ll finish memorising the side streets by today. I promise.”

“Kristin.” He took my hand, a sudden sad light sparking in his gaze. “This mission is far more dangerous than you think. I know what’s going on in your head. Traube might be a harmless, good chap. The whole mission can turn out to be a nice trip to The Netherlands. We might not need to do anything.”

Annoyance spiked my brow. Did he have to read my every thought?

He squeezed my hand. “Remember that we’re dealing with the Gestapo. Those men are ruthless. You know what they do to prisoners to make them talk. Hell, after being tortured by the Gestapo, men confess to crimes they’ve never committed. If one of us is caught, instant death would be a mercy and would save lives.”

“I know.” I guessed that was the reason why Murphy had given me a cyanide capsule for the trip. The thought of using it caused a chill to seep into my bones and sweat to dampen my hands. “Do you think it’s a trap?”

“Murphy doesn’t believe so. He thinks Traube wants to collaborate with us, but he’s too scared of being discovered by his superiors to take action. His reluctance to talk can mean any number of things, including that he wanted to wait to catch the big fish, or to wait for Nathan to blow up the mill.” The rough pad of his thumb stroked my inner wrist, scattering little sensations along my arm. “Don’t get caught. If something happens, run—just run. Don’t look back and don’t stop until you reach the airport and are on a plane for London.”

“I’ll be careful.” My insides twisted in a knot, but not at the thought of going to Venlo. It was Roy’s touch that muddled my thoughts. Yes, the possibility of having to flee while leaving him behind weighed on my chest. And even though he was breaking our rules, I needed the contact with him. “Promise me you’ll be careful too.”

“Don’t worry about me.”

I gripped his fingers hard in a sudden flare of frustration. “I do worry about you because I care.” The words rushed out of me with an urgency that surprised me. But they were true.

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