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“And you’d move the earth and haven itself to make it right?”
Romi fell silent because Kiera’s face was so intense that it was hard to
think of anything to say. She had no response. She wasn’t sure what Kiera
was trying to say exactly.
“The check wasn’t really that big of a deal,” she started to say, but then
cut herself off. That’s not what Kiera was talking about at all. No. She was
talking about them. “Oh.”
“I’m sorry,” Kiera whispered. She clutched Romi’s hand tightly. “I was
so wrong. I told my parents. I told Wynn. I’ll tell everyone else too. I made
a mistake. I made so many mistakes. I panicked. I chased you away. I
wasn’t just scared about coming out to my family. I was scared of what
would happen to me if you decided you didn’t love me. I was scared that
we’d be like everyone else and stop loving each other and start hating each
other. I told myself that’s what relationships were. That they never worked.
I convinced myself of that so that I didn’t have to risk anything. I know
better now. I know that sometimes hurt is inevitable, but sometimes it’s not.
Sometimes things work.”
“Sometimes?”
“I used to think it was just the really lucky people who got it to work.
Love. Life. All of it. I know that’s not true. It’s not luck. It’s hard work. It’s
devotion. It’s patience and years of learning how to communicate. It’s about
making yourself vulnerable. It’s about trust and selflessness.”
“Okay…”
“Please, Romi, will you give me another chance? I promise I will never
hurt you again. I’ll never walk out on you or try to chase you away because
I think that will somehow save me or protect me or make my life better.”
“You hurt me,” Romi said brokenly, even though they weren’t the words
in her head. In her head, she saw herself throwing her arms around Kiera
and telling her that she loved her. Things couldn’t always happen that way.
She needed to protect herself too.
