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Molly undressed her while the housekeeper fetched linens to line the tub. Both women and James were solemn as he helped her into the dry tub.
Sitting only in her ruined shift, Clara raised her knees and curled up against the high back. “Help me,” she said to no one in particular, rocking.
“My lady,” Molly began gently, lowering to her knees and reaching over the tub’s edge to rub Clara’s arm.
Clara saw the acceptance of the loss in Molly’s eyes. She shook her head angrily, denying it.
“No! Do not abandon hope! What can be done? I’ll doanything.”
Molly searched for the proper words but none came in light of her lady’s suffering.
Mrs. Watts intervened, her demeanor gentle but firm. “Lady Clara, Mr. Robertson, I’m sorry to say that hope is lost. Nature has already taken its course.”
Clara shook her head, looking to James, wanting him to align with her. “Perhaps there is still hope.”
He took her hand wordlessly, and she knew frustration along with comfort. Why weren’t his eyes darkening with determination?
Within minutes, however, even she knew that it was too late. For the first time in her life, she cared not at all whether anyone heard her or what they might think.
She screamed“No!”at the top of her lungs. She hugged her knees, wailing in despair. With no sense of how long she screamed, she stopped only when her face hurt and her throat felt as though she had swallowed broken glass.
By the time her womb seized in painful cramps, she lay in the tub silently, covered in the blanket that Mrs. Watts tucked around her before leaving her to James and Molly, who stayed by her side.
Later, Clara ignored attempts to move her.“Leave me.”
“My lady, let us transfer you to the bed now,” Molly pleaded.
Eventually, she acceded only so they would stop asking. Molly removed Clara’s chemise, and James held the basin while Molly cleansed her.
She noticed that the night rail Molly settled over her was one reserved for her menses; sure enough, Molly settled her into bed with a wad of linens between her thighs as if that was all that had happened.
“You rest now, my lady,” Molly urged, her own throat tight.
But Clara hadn’t heard her, just as she wasn’t aware of James stroking her hair.
She had already retreated into darkness, not sleep, her eyes staring sightlessly as she withdrew into numbness.
