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“No, damn it! That’s just it—she’sinterested.” For the thousandth time since returning from her townhouse a few days ago, James heard her words again.
I don’twantto want this!
Borrowing Thomson’s habit, he ran his fingers into his hair and tugged. “She’s vibrant. Full of curiosity and spark. And she wants me. I know it like I know the sun will rise tomorrow. But I’ve bungled matters. Beyond repair.”
“How so?”
James all but growled. “Your queries are effective in the countinghouse, but I don’t see how discussions this can aid in my private matters.”
“You said it when you engaged my services,” he replied in his ever-patient tone. “My talent sometimes lies not in knowledge or strategy, but in the ability to goad you into revealing what you already know but can’t see yourself.”
“That’s just it, old man. There’s no strategy to employ here. I hate this feeling of helplessness, but this is like no situation I’ve faced. This woman isn’t for purchase, nor up for negotiation, nor for the taking. I had but one chance with her, and that was to offer myself. She rejected me.”
“You’re humiliated,” Chavers observed slowly.
“Obviously! Not only because of the poor result. I…erred in my approach. I rushed in with ignorance and on false assumptions.” Cringing, he retrieved his whisky and took a sip.
Chavers abandoned his own glass on James’s desk and sat down nearby. He settled his chin into his hand, watching James closely.
After one more fiery swallow of courage, James spoke again. “I propositioned her without finesse. A maiden.”
“Hmm,” came the neutral reply, more to encourage additional information than anything else.
“What was I supposed to think?! Yes, she’s unmarried, but she’s five-and-twenty and lives in her own residence. And she’s not one of those wan, cloistered aristocrats! She’s—”
“Vibrant. Full of curiosity and spark.”
James frowned at his own idiotic words, but he couldn’t deny them. Sinking further into self-pity, he listed her other attributes. “And clever. Warm.” He remembered how she was with that infernal sibling of hers. “Brave and undeterred, even when faced with the worst individuals. Her form is…delectable. Made for me.”
Chavers rubbed his bearded chin thoughtfully.
“Whatever you’re thinking, the answer is no. It’s finished. No, it never began.”
“So why all twisted up? If it’s over, it’s over.”
James tried to level him with a look. “When have you known me to give up?”
Chavers’ lips twitched.
“But it’s as I told you. Nothing to be done now. Not only did I already put myself up for auction and she declined to bid, I told her that if I left, I wouldn’t return. I can barely refrain from going against my own word and returning for one more try. Damn it, I’m daydreaming of arranging a so-called chance meeting, believing that if she sees me again, she’ll…”
James cut himself off and marched to the window again.
“Will you go to her again?”
“No.” He’d already run through the options in his mind like water through a wheel. Whether Clara didn’t actually want him, or she didn’t want to want him, he would not beg.
“You have some coin. Passable face and form. If you’re in the market for a maiden, you’ve plenty to choose from. Watson has offered his daughter. In the bargain, Watson & Co. shall be yours.”
James made a sound of disgust. “I’m not searching for a maiden or a wife. Least of which a child.”
“If it’s an aristocrat you’re after, those are on offer to you as well.”
“Blast that. The married ones examine me like a horse out to stud. No, thank you.”
“Not just the married ones. What of those looking for a husband?”
“Marry a chit whose father is desperate for coin? Marryat all?”
