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Chapter Twenty-Seven
The newspaper weighed less than a bird, yet was as heavy and grievous a burden as Nicholas had ever carried. Tucked in his satchel, the thing had almost no physical presence, but the carriage ride from his office to Helen’s house was so marked by it, he might as well as have been transporting a three-thousand-pound cannon.
He had hoped she would never ask to see whatThe Timeshad published a month earlier, but her request came as no genuine surprise. Helen was not one to shy away from difficulty, and she said she needed to see it. The timing was not coincidental. After making it through those excruciating first few weeks, she was faring better, giving her the strength to bear the wounds the details in the paper would inflict.
Nicholas hated being the messenger, and at the same time, he was grateful to be the one with her as she read the story.
“Oh, how Elijah would hate to know they reprinted this,” she said quietly, pointing to the absurdly inaccurate illustration that had originally been published soon after their arrival in London.
As if bracing herself against a blow, she sat rigidly. There weren’t any new gruesome details about the ship’s fate than she already knew, but the reporter had quoted a source from the British Admiralty that added insult to injury.
The fate of this American clipper, while tragic, is hardly unforeseeable. The ship’s design was as irresponsible as her captain was impudent. Great Britain’s command of the sea remains secure.
Breathing hard by the end, she ripped the paper in half and crumpled it in her fists.
Nicholas settled a hand on her knee. “Shall I have the fireplace lit?”
She laughed lightly, sending him a look of appreciation. “In the summer?”
“I’m quite serious.”
“Elijah would have said yes.”
“To the fireplace? No, not your brother.” He gave a small smile when she shot him a dubious look. “He would have lit a bonfire.”
She laughed, though tears fell in earnest as well. “So much was lost in that storm. My brother and all those lives. The silver. And the glory. Oh, how Elijah wanted to sail into London and shock the British!”
“I’m sorry about what you just read, Helen, but we won’t let those be the last words on the matter. You and I will always know how brave Elijah was. He set about achieving something no one else had yet to try. That glory will live in your heart forever.”
Nodding, she closed her eyes, her body trembling. “He was a complicated man. He wanted to succeed in our venture for so many reasons. For me. For himself. And for our father, I believe. He pretended he no longer sought his approval. But we both knew that had Father been alive, seeing us best the English…”
All too natural for a son to try to please his father—even in the grave.Nicholas shook his head.A fool’s errand I won’t indulge.
He moved closer to her on the settee, stroking her leg, comforting her—even as her words provoked his own selfish thoughts. His family problems could wait. “Would it please you to imagine them raising a glass together in the afterlife?”
“Wherever Elijah is, I hope he’s at peace.” They both looked up at his portrait on the wall. “Perhaps he’s with both our parents. And with…his love.”
Nicholas turned to her, admiring her full-heartedness. Despite all the betrayal she’d experienced, this was a woman who remained loyal and kind. He held her hand, amazed by her. “With Robbie.”
Her mouth parted, and her eyes widened. For just a moment, her full shock was on display before she stifled it, dropping her gaze to their joined hands.
So I was right, he thought without relish. “Helen, you don’t have to say anything. I—”
“Yes. With Robbie.” She huffed out a mirthless laugh and shook her head. “Of course you paid attention and figured it out. I’m so used to guarding the secret my heart is racing right now.”
Nicholas sat calmly while she scrutinized his gaze.
“I won’t tell anyone.” He stroked his thumb back and forth over her palm. “To have experienced so much pain at their hands and still to wish them happiness together—you’re a woman of uncommon generosity, Helen.”
“Their suffering…it was so great. They’re free of that now. It gives me solace to imagine them together as they always dreamed of. They couldn’t sail together into the sunset in this life, but perhaps they can in eternal life.”
She moved into his arms, and he held her. As much as he respected her goodness, he found it difficult to overlook the destruction their decisions wrought on Helen’s life.
“They lived with shame that ate them from the inside out,” she whispered. “Shame about who they were. Guilt about what they did. By the time Elijah left for China with your silver, I’d forgiven him. And nowIfeel guilty. He gave his life, trying to make it up to me. I didn’t want this.”
“He loved you. Yes, I know he was trying to do right by you. But you were on the mark earlier—he was seeking glory, too. He was a captain and sailor through and through. You’ve carried enough on your shoulders, Helen. I won’t have you taking responsibility for Elijah’s own decisions. His fate. None of this is your fault.”
“The tea venture was my idea.”
