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Nick grimaced. “Um. No? If you hear anything about the mating habits of box turtles, know that it didn’t start out that way, and I have no idea how I got there.”
Dad looked toward the ceiling for reasons Nick didn’t quite understand. “Box turtles.”
“And also, maybe give consideration for leniency if anything issaid about an AP History pop quiz, emphasis on the wordpop,as in it popped out of nowhere. Which is unfair.”
“Nick,” Dad warned.
“Gotta go, bye! Bye, Dad! Goodbye! Officer Rookie, move. Move right now. Oh my god, why are you stillsittingthere? Stop making that face at me, I don’t smell that bad. Okay, maybe I do, but seriously. Cap told you to move, somove.”
Apparently, Officer Rookie didn’t like being pushed out of the precinct, but Nick figured he needed the experience.
Officer Rookie refused to let him sit in the front seat, instead relegating him to the back like a common criminal. And since it was the second time in the space of a few hours that Nick had ridden in the back of a cop car, he wasn’t in a very good mood. Add in the fact that he was grounded for what would most likely amount to the rest of his lifeandthat apparently his nose was starting to work again and he could smell himself even though all the windows were rolled down—Nick wasn’t having a very good day.
It didn’t help that when he got his phone again, there were texts from Jazz (DON’T BECOME A SNITCH IN JAIL BECAUSE SNITCHES GET STITCHES) and Gibby (u need to bathe in tomato juice u idiot), but nothing from Seth. Nothing from Owen either, but Nick found he didn’t care too much about that.
Seth, however, was another story entirely. Nick didn’t know if he should be furious or worried that Seth hadn’t responded. Unless Seth had gotten sick again, Nick didn’t understand why he couldn’t have at least had the courtesy to answer Nick’s many texts, each more irritated than the last. After all, they’d shared Skwinkles Salsagheti on a sort of not-date, and Nick thought that’d meant something. The past couple of days had been… nice? Sure, Nick didn’t really know how he felt about the whole idea of him and Seth being… him and Seth, but it had to meansomethingwhen Nick’s heart fluttered a little when Seth had shown up to school the next day after the not-date wearing a bow tie with little unicorns on it. He’d stared at Seth for so long that Seth had blushed and asked if everything was okay. Nick had nodded, unsure ofhow to say anything that didn’t end withWhy are you so amazing all the time?
Because Nick was destined to be Shadow Star’s boyfriend, right? After all, Shadow Star had known his name without Nick giving it to him and had said he was cute. Yeah, he’d been repeating what Gibby had told him in order to take the picture after Nick had accidentally kissed the side of his head, but still. It wassomething.
Nick sighed dramatically and slumped in the back seat. “My love life is in shambles, Officer Rookie.”
“I told you, my name is Chris. You can call me that, or Officer Morton.”
Nick snorted. Amateur. Who did he think he was dealing with? “Okay, Officer Rookie. Whatever you say. Anyway, my love life is in shambles.”
“I can’t believe I went to the academy for this,” Officer Rookie muttered. “To be a chauffeur to a smelly child. I don’t get paid enough to deal with this.”
“Police officers are woefully underpaid,” Nick agreed. “Especially for the line of work they’re in. It’s dangerous on a daily basis, and they should be compensated.”
“Thanks.” He sounded surprised. “That’s nice of you—”
“As I was saying, my love life is in shambles. Everything sucks.” He turned to stare forlornly out the window. “I’m having feelings, Officer Rookie, and I don’t know what to do with them.”
“We should probably not talk at all,” Officer Rookie said. “Make things easier for every—”
“On one hand,” Nick said, “there’s my best friend. He’s awesome and funny and wonderful, and sometimes, when he concentrates really hard, he scrunches up his forehead, and I think there’s a chance I might want to put my face on his face, even if he doesn’t show up when he’s supposed to.”
“Do you understand whatnot talk at allmeans? Because I was serious when I said—”
“And on the other hand, there’s Shadow Star. The Extraordinary who owns my heart because he’s brave and selfless and can climb walls and defeat bad guys. And he saved me once, and even though I didn’t tell him, he knew my full name and said I was cute.”Nick frowned. “Well, sort of. He was coerced into saying it by a baby butch, but I totally believed him because he wouldn’t lie about things like that.”
Officer Rookie sounded like he was going through his own existential crisis. “You’ll be an officer of the law, they said. You’ll help people, they said. You’ll get aTaser,they said, even if they also said you couldn’t use it whenever you wanted.”
Nick barely heard a single word from Officer Rookie. “And it’s not like I want to have to make a choice like this, you know? I mean, yes, it can be said that I’ve known Seth for practically my whole life whereas Shadow Star and I have only spoken once, for like, five minutes, but those five minutes were so…electric.There was something there, and it was awesome.” He sighed dreamily as he looked out the window again. “But on the flip side, Seth got weirdly muscular when I wasn’t looking. It’s like puberty hit him late, or whatever. Not that it matters. I thought he was perfect the way he was before. I mean, he wears ascots, Officer Rookie. If you saw him wearing one, you’d probably want to kiss him too.” Nick turned to glare at Officer Rookie. “Except he’s only sixteen, and you’re, like, thirty. That’s disgusting and illegal. Get that thought out of your head right now.”
“I’m notthirty,” Office Rookie said. “I’m twenty-four.”
What the f—? “That’s still illegal! Why are you arguing with me on this? You stay away from Seth!”
“I’m not trying to—you know what? No. I’m not going to get involved.”
“Damn right, you’re not. That’s creepy, Officer Rookie.”
Officer Rookie sighed dramatically as the heavy traffic slowed to a stop. “If I give you some advice, can we finish the rest of this ride in silence?”
“I have ADHD. I don’t do many things in silence.”
Officer Rookie muttered something under his breath. It didn’t sound complimentary. Rude. “Shadow Star is cool and all, okay? I get it. He’s an Extraordinary, and some of the things he can do are nuts. But he’s always going to put the needs of Nova City first. For whatever reason, he thinks it’s his job. And you won’t be able to compete with that.”
