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“I know you better than anyone,” Dad said, taking another step toward him. The table stood between them, and Nick thought if he pushed, if he really pushed, he could send it flying. He could probably destroy the entire kitchen if he wanted to. The entirehouse. “I’ve watched over you every day of your life. Everything I’ve done—everything I am—is because of you.”
Nick laughed, the sound harsh. “Don’t put the blame on me. You did this. You took this—this part of me and tried to keep it from me. You went to Simon fucking Burke—and why the hell don’t I remember that?—and found a way to take something from me that you had no right to.”
“We wanted to keep you—”
“Safe? By crushing me? By shoving thisthingso far down behind a wave of pills that I wouldn’t be able to find it? Do you have any idea the kind of violation that is? What if you’d been a homophobic dick, on top of everything else? Would you have tried to find a way to kill that too?”
“No, Nicky—oh god, no, it’s not like that. It’s not—”
“And what about after she died?” Nick demanded. “After everything we went through, didn’t you ever stop to think that I had a right to know about her? About myself?”
“I couldn’t lose you too!” Dad cried, and Nick flinched, heart shattering. Tears were falling freely now. Dad, too, his face twisting as his chest heaved. “Oh my god, I couldn’t lose you too. All I ever wanted was to have you grow into the man I knew you could be, kind and loving and so damn brave. Did I make mistakes? Yeah, Nicky. Many, many mistakes. But I couldn’t have the same thing happen to you. Hate me all you want, but I did what I did because I love you more than anything on this earth. I would doanythingfor you, even if that meant squashing the part of you that you think makes you extraordinary. You were already extraordinary. Every single piece of you. Every single part.” He moved around the table. Nick couldn’t make his feet do what he wanted them to do. He was rooted in place, and his father stopped before him, shaking, shaking as he gripped Nick by the elbows. “Nick, please. Okay? Please try to understand—”
Nick took a step back, shoving Dad’s hands away. “Burke knew. And you did. When I started dating Owen, you both knew. When I found out about Pyro Storm and Shadow Star, you knew. When I was fighting for mylife, you knew.”
Dad scowled. “Burke. Goddamn Simon Burke. If he hadn’t—”
No. No, no, no. “Don’t. This has nothing to do with him. This is onyou. At least he had the balls to tell me the truth, in his own way.”
“He’s trying to tear us apart. Can’t you see that? This is exactly what he wants. He’s never forgiven me for what happened to Jenny, and I—”
“We don’t need Burke to tear us apart,” Nick said, his words clipped. “You’re doing that just fine on your own. How am I supposed to ever trust you again?”
Dad was shaking his head even before he finished. “That’s not—I don’t know, Nick. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Nick tasted bile in the back of his throat. Even as angry as he was, he couldn’t stand to see his father so beaten down. He startled when Dad slumped to the floor, wrapping his arms around his knees, pulling his legs to his chest.
Part of Nick’s anger—a small part—dissolved as he took a step forward. He stood next to his father, racked with indecision before putting his hand on the top of Dad’s head, fingers curling into his hair. “I can be both,” Nick said softly. “I can be a kid and still do what I can. You taught me to be brave and selfless, and while the whole selfless thing is probably up for debate, I still listened to you. I always have.”
“I know,” Dad said, wrapping an arm around the back of Nick’s knees, anchoring him in place.
Nick took a deep breath and let it out slow. “I’m going to ask you something, and you can’t lie to me.”
Dad nodded against his leg.
Nick hesitated. Then, “Did you tell Simon Burke about Seth? About who he is and what he can do?”
Dad lifted his head, looking up at Nick. His eyes were watery, but he seemed as if he was in control. “I never told him who Seth is. I never told him what he could do. The only thing I did was keep him apprised of Pyro Storm’s movements, and even then, I kept it vague. I never gave him even ahintabout Pyro Storm’s true identity.”
Nick glared at him. “That’s still pretty messed up. Burke could’ve used the information you gave him and done something to Seth. If that’d happened and I’d found out, you really think I would’ve forgiven you?”
“No,” Dad whispered. He let Nick go, hands resting in his lap. “I know you wouldn’t have. And you would’ve been right.”
Nick nodded slowly, parsing the words, trying to find any hint of deception. Dad was good, but Nick had spent far too much time clicking through Wikipedia and knew what to look for. Dad’s eyes never darted away; he didn’t try to embellish by filling in the blanks. It struck Nick, then, that he was trying to see if his fatherwas lying to him. Dad, the one person he never thought he’d have to think that way about. “You’ll need to talk to Bob and Martha,” Nick finally said. “They deserve to hear all this from you. Seth is their kid, and since you were giving Burke information, they need to do what they can to make sure Seth is protected. And I’m going to do the same.”
“What are you talking about? Nick, you need to stay the hell away from Burke. I don’t know what he’s doing, but you can’t get involved.”
Nick swallowed thickly. “A little late for that. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I won’t let the stupidity of adults get in the way. You screwed up. We’re not going to pay for your mistakes.”
Dad looked at him for a long moment before finally nodding. He reached for Nick but aborted the movement at the last second, hands falling back to his sides. “Where do we go from here?”
“I don’t know,” Nick admitted. “I love you, but I don’t like you very much right now. I’m probably going to feel that way for a while. And I’m not taking the Concentra again,” he said, reaching out and touching the costume on the table in front of him. The material was soft. No cape, as far as he could see. He approved. He’d gotten his good taste from her. “That’s not up for debate.”
Dad looked like he was about to argue but deflated instead. “Okay, Nick. We’ll—we’ll figure it out. No more Concentra, but you have to get something to help you out. It’s not a bad thing, but if it can be managed, then we need to make sure it’s done so you can focus. I’ll make an appointment. We’ll get it sorted.”
“Nothing from Burke Pharmaceuticals.”
Dad’s jaw tightened. “No. Nothing from Burke Pharmaceuticals. I’ll make sure of it.”
Nick relaxed incrementally. “Sorry about the light bulb.”
Dad chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. It’s the reason we got a Costco card—to buy them in bulk. Your mom did the same thing whenever she got upset.”
He couldn’t let this moment pass him by. “Will you tell me about her? I want to know everything.”
For a moment, Nick thought he’d refuse. Instead, he said, “Yeah, kid. Everything.”
