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“Don’t feel like it much right now.”
Dad laughed again, but this time, it seemed to be more genuine. “Quite the pair, aren’t we?”
“We are,” Nick agreed. “You believed me. In the house.”
“It was hard,” Dad said quietly. “All I could hear in my head was her voice, telling me that you were coming to hurt her. I was in there screaming for myself to wake up. I couldn’t do it.”
“You did, though.”
“Because of you, kid.” Dad gripped his hand tightly. “I heard your voice through the hurricane. It was like…”
“A lighthouse.”
Dad nodded. “Yeah. You were the only thing that made sense. I latched on to it, and I felt myself waking up. Like I’d been trapped in a nightmare and… I’d never been so scared in my life.” His lips quirked slightly. “You saved me. Again. Just like you always do.”
Nick blinked. “I don’t—”
“You do. I don’t know where I’d be without you, Nicky. When she… died, it felt like it was the end of the world. And it was, in a way. Catastrophic. Apocalyptic. And I almost lost myself in it. But I didn’t, and it was because of you.” He sniffled, and Nick felt his own eyes start to burn. “I don’t know how I got so lucky to have you as my kid, but I’m thankful every day that you exist.”
“Dad,” Nick whispered.
Dad tugged him over, wrapping his left arm around Nick’s back as he laid his head on his father’s shoulder. Dad hesitated. Then, “I talked with Seth. Told him I was sorry for what happened. That I’d understand if he didn’t want to be around me, but to not let that affect how he saw you.”
“What did he say?” Nick asked. He already knew. Seth had told him, but he wanted to hear it from Dad.
“He said he didn’t blame me for what happened at the house. And that he knew we were a package deal.”
“He’s a good guy,” Nick said, rubbing his own tears away on Dad’s shirt.
“He is. You both remind me of… how it was for me and your mother. And I hope you get to experience what we had because no matter how it ended, it was good. So damn good. Maybe that’ll be with Seth. Maybe it’ll be with someone else, but I want that for you.”
“Me, too. I think it’ll be with Seth, though.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. If you didn’t scare him away with the banana on the condom or the dental dams or the unfortunate enema demonstration, I have a feeling he’ll stick around.” He glared at his father. “Which, you know. What in the absolute hell iswrongwith you?”
“So many things,” Dad said. “But I have no regrets; the look on your face each time was worth it.” He twisted his mouth, eyes bulging comically from his head as he pitched his voice high and said, “But,Dad.You’re embarrassing me in front of everyone!”
Nick scowled at him. “I don’t sound anything like that!”
“You do,” Dad assured him. “It’s adorable.” His expression collapsed, bottom lip starting to tremble. “Hey, kid?”
“Yeah?”
“I think I’m going to cry right now. Just for a little bit. Need to get it out. Is that okay?”
“It is,” Nick said, and as they held each other, the morning sun spilling into the room through the window, they cried. For what they had lost. For what they had found. For Before and for After, for a woman who had been their everything. They cried for her, and themselves.
But they did not cry alone.
Later that day, Nick went to the only other place he felt safe. He kept his head down, a baseball cap tugged low on his head and a pair of Jazz’s oversized pink, glittery sunglasses coveringhis face. He managed to avoid the reporters camped out in front of the house by going through a side gate. In the backpack slung over his shoulder he had his costume.
He hurried, and by the time he reached his destination sweat was dripping down his face and his shirt felt gross under the straps of his backpack.
He cut through the space between the houses, hopping over a small chain-link fence that led to the postage stamp of a backyard behind the Gray brownstone.
He took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
