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Chapter Nine
Alex
Coach Neill’s office is empty when I inspect it. The wide windows behind her desk illuminate the space, yellow rays of sunlight scattered all over the floor, the furniture, and the shelves. It’s too quiet in here, a magnificent silence that feels oppressive rather than void. I’m searching her desk and her computer, hoping to find a clue as to her whereabouts.
But she’s nowhere to be found.
It’s been a few days since she went missing. The last I saw her was when she interrupted my negotiation with the boys on who was going to see my father’s notebook and under what conditions. I’m worried that she’s been abducted or killed—or worse, that she’s moved on.
If she leaves me now, then what will I do? After all that training and advice, I feel like I’ve been left to pick up the scraps of my empire without anyone to back me up. She said I was ready to lead, but did she mean that as a farewell? And if she did, why did she interrupt me the other day?
She warned me about using sex with the boys. She told me precisely how that would go, how burned I would be if I didn’t do things carefully. And she was right. I was playing with fire with these families. Using my body in such a way only made me vulnerable, and now I’m paying the price.
But I can’t stop. It’s the greatest superpower I could ever have acquired, and I’m not willing to let it go.
Is she disgusted with me? Only seconds after she left, the boys took turns railing me. Maybe she peeked into the room and witnessed my self-destruction. I close my eyes while resting my hand on the back of the desk chair. I should have waited longer or taken it somewhere else. She probably thinks I’m a whore, just like the rest of the school.
Even when I try to pass off her absence as unrelated, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m responsible for Coach Neill. Her allegiance puts her at risk. Every encounter with her put a target on her back purely by association. That’s why it’s best to keep Demetra away from me. I might have to do the same with Evelyn soon, too.
This life has destroyed all of my friendships, I think angrily while leaving the office. I lock the door behind me, sparing one last look through the small window before turning away. I can’t let it take anything else from me.
Parker waits for me near the entrance to the gym. He’s leaning casually against the doorway, twirling a pen around his fingers while staring me down. It’s hard to read his expression, but his eyes tell me he’s been looking for me.
I suppose he didn’t get enough the other day. “Coach Neill is missing.”
“And?”
“And that’s a huge problem.”
He rolls his eyes. “To hell with your precious coach, Alex. I don’t give twelve fucks about her.”
“You will when I tell you that she’s seen the notebook.”
Panic flashes in his eyes while he drops the pen and grabs my arm. He drags me into the empty hallway near the gym, tossing me in the direction of a wall of lockers. My back slaps the metal, though the pain hardly registers in my system. I’m scowling so hard at him that I’m afraid my face might get stuck like this forever.
We’re not even married, and yet we bicker like a married couple. It’s sickening.
“Are you fucking stupid?” he hisses while dragging his fingers through his hair. I’ve never seen him stressed like this. “How could you make such a huge fucking mistake?”
“Maybe I wouldn’t have made such a huge mistake,” I retort sarcastically, “if I was able to trust the people around me.”
He grimaces. “If you would try to trust the people around you, then maybe you wouldn’t have done something so dumb.”
“I trust Coach Neill. She wouldn’t do anything against me.”
“And you can prove that?”
I shrug. “It’s all in the notebook. She’s dedicated to my family. My father trusted her, so I do, too.”
“You’re a fucking idiot, Alex.”
“You don’t have to be rude to me, Parker. I can make my own decisions.”
He laughs dryly. “Yeah, the kinds of decisions that can get you fucking killed.”
“Am I dead yet?”
“That’s beside the point, precious. Just because you haven’t been capped doesn’t mean you aren’t well on your way to that being the case.”
