AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Zay… Please, no. Don’t do this. I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t do that. Please.”
Not the drugs. God, please not again.
I’m unable to move with Zayan’s weight holding me down, pressing hard into my chest. I know no matter how much I beg, he’ll do it anyway. It never stops him. He gets off of my pain, on the cries that rip through me.
“Dahlia, I haven’t fully broken you in yet. If I don’t give you this, you’ll fight me like the feisty girl you are, and I can’t have that. I wouldn’t have to do this if you didn’t act like a little slut in front of my friends, begging for them to give your desperate ass attention. Maybe I should get them in here to join the party, show them what they’re missing out on. Would that make you happy? You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Spreading your whore legs for any man who’ll give you attention.”
I can barely handle what he does to me; I’d be destroyed if he let his friends rape me too. I’m hanging on by a thread as it is. I’m on the edge of cracking, ready to let go and pray for death to find me.
“No,” I croak, my throat still aching from his cock being shoved down it earlier. From him ruthlessly suffocating me like it was a game to see how long I could go without air.
“Then do what I fucking say.” Zayan’s fist slams into my cheek so hard that I feel the skin split. Tears stream down my face, trying not to think about the pain shooting where he just hit me.
I don’t want this—the drugs. I can’t handle them, or what he does to me, when he gives them to me. I hate the groggy feeling, hate feeling like I have no control over myself. Once my body absorbs the substance, he has me at his will—always. That’s what he lives for. The darkest parts of his mind find it amusing, find it arousing that I don’t fight back, that he can control me any way he wants because I can’t fight.
I try again to wiggle out from under him, but he’s too heavy and the zip ties he put around my wrists are starting to cut off circulation.
“Open up, baby.” He’s holding the cup to my lips, but I keep my mouth clamped shut, twisting away from it.
“Zay, my wrists hurt. Let me go, I won’t fight back, I promise,” I whimper, hoping I can get to him somehow. Hoping there's still a semblance of the man I used to know, of the man who was once charming and sweet, the one who swept me off my feet with his handsome smile and tender heart. But I haven’t seen that guy in a long time. The man who remains is the one who likes to bring me pain, the one who likes to hurt me for fun.
“You know the drill—the sooner you drink this, the sooner I cut the ties.”
The sooner he forces himself inside me.
This is how he drugs me now, by holding me down and forcing his alcohol of choice—mixed with whatever drug he puts in there—down my throat. Sometimes he’ll force open my throat, pouring liquid down there to make me choke, gasping for air until I swallow.
He started by spiking my drinks without my knowledge, slipping something in when I wasn’t looking. Once I figured that out, I wouldn’t take any drinks he offered me, even though I knew he’d punish me for it. He’s even drugged me through a drink that was sealed—or so I thought. I don’t know how he did it, but beer wasn’t the only substance in that can.
All of that led to where we are now. These days, he ties me up and forces it down my throat, making sure I’m subdued, just how he likes it.
Zayan grips my jaw tightly, forcing it open. He tips the red Solo cup above, and the drink pours into my mouth, almost making me gag. Like always, I keep it in my mouth for as long as I can. I hold it in the back of my throat, keeping it from going down. But Zayan holds my nose, plugging my airway so I have no other choice but to swallow.
The liquid starts flowing over, dripping down my cheeks, and the burn gets to be too much, so I swallow.
My choices are always the same—swallow it, or choke on it and die. I’ve thought about the second option before, just so I can get away from him. But I don’t really wanna die. I have so many dreams for my life. I’m not really sure how I’m supposed to achieve them if I’m controlled by this monster, or dead. What the hell am I supposed to do?
“That’s my good girl. Take it all in. You’ll feel better after.” Fire burns through my veins, the buzz already starting. I can feel my limbs start to loosen, letting the numbness take over.
He stays straddling me, stroking my hair like I’m his little pet as he waits for my body to weaken completely. “So beautiful,” he whispers. “You’re all mine, dahlia. No one else can have you. No one else even gets to look at you like I do.”
Normally a girl would find these words charming, but with Zayan, it’s manipulative and disgusting.
I can’t believe I’m in this situation. I’m so stupid for not seeing this earlier. For not leaving when I started seeing the signs. This is all my fault—I wanted to make my parents happy by finally settling down with someone they approved of, but they don’t know the real him. Hell, even I didn’t know the real him until it was too late.
Tears well in my eyes, falling as I look up at his devilish smirk. “You know just how much I love your tears, dahlia.” He loves it when he makes me cry; it makes him feel like he’s powerful, like he has an effect on me. When the tears start falling, his chest puffs up like he’s won a damn gold medal.
He wants to break me so no one else can ever have me. So no one else can love the empty shell that I’m becoming.
“My wrists,” I remind him. My voice is raspy from the burn of the alcohol.
“A few more minutes.” He leans forward, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead. Such a stark contrast from what he’s doing to me. It’s too sweet, too tender, and way too manipulative.
At one point, my body was building a tolerance to the drugs he was giving me, and I was still able to fight back. Since then, he’s either upped my dosage or changed the drug. I’m not sure which, but it hits me so fucking fast now. He doesn’t want me to have the chance to fight, so he stays on top of me until he’s sure the drugs have me under control. Until I’m just a body that he can toy with however he wants.
My head’s getting fuzzy now, and I feel like I’m floating, even though I have a hundred and eighty pounds of asshole on top of me. At this point, the crushing pain has subsided, and my hands are so numb that I don’t remember if I still have zip ties on or not. I can’t even move them to check if they’re still restrained.
If I ever get free, I wonder if I’ll be able to live without these drugs. I want him to stop. I don’t want to be addicted… But part of me already is. When the drugs wear off and we go back to our “normal” lives, I’m fidgety, sick, and can’t concentrate on anything. There are days where my whole body aches, like I’ve been beaten within an inch of my life, to the point I can’t even keep water down. I have no idea what drugs he gives me, so all the times I’ve tried to fix the withdrawals, it only worked halfway. Sometimes it seems like my body needs them to function, other times it feels like my body wants to fight them.
