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“Are you planning on listening or just assuming shit again?” God, I can’t fucking stop my mouth from saying every asshole remark I have.
“Stop being a fucking asshole and just tell me.”
“Allie lived with Theon, Blais, and I. She was like the fourth member of our squad. She was my sister, but it’s like she was all of ours.” My chest aches for not only my loss, but also for Theon’s and Blais’. They both loved her so much and took it as bad as I did when she was killed.
Zamira’s eyebrows pinch together, but I continue, “She begged and begged to let us take her to the club and I didn’t want to. I shouldn’t have let her go, and I live with that mistake every damn day of my life. I knew Allie was up to something she didn’t want me to know about, but I figured it wasn’t anything serious. Obviously she was into something deeper than I knew.” It’s uncomfortable talking about this, but maybe Zamira will understand why I am the way I am when she knows.
“She was the one person who could always find the good in any situation, no matter how bad it was. When she walked into a room, everyone noticed. Don’t get me wrong, she was beautiful, but she was also kind, caring, and had the biggest heart out of everyone I’ve ever met. She kept me balanced, she helped me see that the world didn’t always have to be so dark.” My voice gets lodged in my chest, but it feels good to get this out there, for Zamira to know.
“The night she died, I was distracted. I decided to dance with some random woman, while my sister was fighting for her fucking life in the alley. I was thinking about fucking some random chick while my sister was being violated, suffering in a pool of blood after being brutally raped and beaten.” Everything in my body is telling me to end this conversation, to flip Zamira over and take control, but I need this. I have to do this.
“Ace…” She’s looking at me with despair, but it won’t bring Allie back. Nothing will.
“Blais and I found her in the alley. She was still breathing, but she could barely get a word out. She didn’t even look like my sister anymore. She didn’t look like the ray of sunshine that helped me keep what little part of my soul I still had left. She looked like a broken girl, discarded without second thought. They left her in that alley like another piece of garbage with her clothes ripped apart, her face bludgeoned, and her blood soaking into the cold concrete. My sister died in my hands, which is why Novak had to die at my hands.”
“I-I… Ace... I don’t know what to say.” She brings her free hand to my cheek, rubbing it back and forth with her thumb. I’m glad she doesn’t say sorry, because it won’t do anything to bring Allie back. Everything about her body language is confusing as hell right now. Her back is rigid, she’s still holding the syringe to my neck, but she’s looking at me with sadness and tenderly touching me.
“Well, now you know why I had to kill him. So if you want to remove the syringe from my neck now…” My voice is no longer thoughtful thinking about Allie, my usual tone shifts back into place, reminding her that she better remember who’s really in charge here.
“What about the others?” Her voice is strained as she fights herself over what to do. She removes her hand from my cheek, clenching it in a fist on my chest.
“The others? Theon and Blais?” What about them? They loved Allie just as much as I did. I’m not sure what she’s asking me.
“The other people you’ve killed.” Her voice is like ice, no longer the sweet girl who was just feeling my pain with me. It’s like she remembered why she was mad in the first place and a switch flipped her anger back in place.
“What other people are you talking about?” Obviously, I know we’ve killed a lot of people, but she shouldn’t know that. It’s not something Blais or Theon would’ve told her without all of us being around. She better fucking tread lightly before she goes too fucking far.
“Don’t act coy, Ace. I saw the folders. Tell. Me. Why.” She’s panting so hard, I swear I can see smoke coming out of her ears, but I don’t say anything. All I can do is stare at her, wondering how the fuck she knows about those files. “If you don’t fucking start talking, then I’ll inject you right now.”
“Well, you saw the folders. Shouldn’t you be able to put it together, Agent Stone?” Yeah, I’m cutting deep right now. I’m purposely trying to make her feel like shit, but she went and snooped in a place she had no business being. I’m going to fucking kill Theon since he was the last one in here with her before me.
“Stop it. Stop fucking with me. For once in your damn life, stop being a dick and answer the question.” She doesn’t even realize how easily I could flip her over and choke the life out of her right now. She might have that syringe to my neck, but I have the strength to easily overpower her.
Even though I could do that, I still want to tell her our darkest secrets to see how she handles it. I want to know whether she’s going to look at me like I’m a monster or someone she can understand.
Part of me feels like she’s going to relate to us more than we originally thought. Theon told us earlier today about her past with her abusive ex-husband and how she killed him. We already knew that she did, but hearing the shit he put her through makes it more justifiable. She wanted to be free, her darkness overpowering her control.
“Are you sure you’re ready for that, temptress?” Once she truly knows, there’s no going back from it.
“Please…” The desperation in her voice has me wondering if she’s thinking the same as me. Whether or not she’ll be able to handle the truth about the kind of people we are. It’s not like we’ve hidden it all that well from her so far, but she doesn’t know the extent of our bloodthirsty tendencies.
“Once I tell you, there’s no going back. You’ll know our darkest secrets. Secrets we don’t tell anyone….at least anyone who lives long enough to tell the world.” My heart beats rapidly inside my chest, unsure of how this is going to go.
“Say it,” she grunts out through clenched teeth.
“We kill people, Zamira. We make them disappear without a trace. All the people in the files you found, we’ve killed them.” I look her dead in the eye while I tell her the biggest secret of my life, of our lives, seeing the falter in her gaze. Her hand slacks against my neck, chaos warping her gorgeous face. It’s like she knew that, and she was just waiting for me to confirm it. She sits on top of me, processing what I said.
Taking this as my opportunity, I roughly grip her hips before flipping us over. The syringe slides from her grasp, landing on the bed beside us.
The fear in her eyes is palpable as she frantically reaches for the only thing that will save her from the fate the others faced. She’s scared, wondering what I’m going to do to her.
Good, she should be scared. She should know the dangerous men she’s decided to get involved with.
Grabbing her wrists, I twisther around on the bed, locking her hands behind her back with my own. Taking the syringe off the bed with the other, I press it to her neck like she just had it to mine.
“What are you doing?” She’s frantic, trying to pull free from my grasp.
“Uh, uh. I wouldn’t do that. I could easily knock you out with the syringe if you’d prefer that?” She continues to thrash in my arms, so I press my body against hers.
