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My heart aches from the decision I had to make, but I can’t change any of this now. It’s the only way I’m going to survive. A tough decision I have to make.
“Fuck, Z. I didn’t think you had it in you. You picked me.” Matt’s relieved voice meets my ears, pulling me from my trance.
My hand shakes, my fingers are beginning to feel numb, but I aim the gun at my best friend. “I didn’t choose you, Matt. I chose me.” I have no one I can trust but myself.
I have no idea what the hell is the truth at this point. I don’t know if my best friend is the monster they made him out to be. I want to think he wouldn’t do those terrible things, but it’s hard to think otherwise after what I saw.
“Please, Z. I can explain everything. I didn’t do any of the things they said I did.”
Not once in our friendship has Matt ever lied to me. He always gave me the truth no matter how painful it was, but is he lying now just to save himself?
“Am I supposed to just believe you?” Tears stream down my face as I shove the gun into his chest.
“Yes, Zamira. I’m your best friend. We’ve been by each other’s side every day for the past three years! You know me. You know me better than anyone else. If I was doing shady shit on the side, you would know. You know I can’t keep secrets from you.”
He’s right, we’ve spent a lot of time together since we met at the academy. I feel like I know him better than I know myself most days. I haven’t noticed anything even the slightest bit suspicious since we started hanging out, so a large part of me wants to believe him. On the other hand, the videos would be extremely hard to fake in that short of time, not impossible with the right technology, but still difficult.
“You’re my best friend. We’re like family. No, scratch that. I am your family. Z, please. Let me down from here and we’ll figure all this shit out, together, as a family.”
His pleas are breaking straight through my protective walls. He’s the only family I have left. I thought Ace, Blais, and Theon were my family too. They pulled me into their trap, made me feel like I was one of them, like I belonged, then ripped all my sense of belonging away from me.
“You didn’t rape and murder those women?” The muscles in my arm give out, the gun falling from Matt’s chest. My bottom lip trembles, feeling more and more exhausted and confused the longer I stand here.
“No, Z, never. You know I’d never do that. You and me, we took an oath to serve and protect. I’d never put anyone in danger, I’d never harm them. I’ll show you once we get out of here that I’m innocent. Come on, don’t take away the only family you have left.”
My heart sinks. If I kill him or leave him here to die, I’ll have absolutely no one left. I’ll be alone. I hate being alone, it’s when I have time to get trapped inside my dark mind.
“Okay,” I whisper, dropping the gun to the ground. I move a large metal chair over so I can pull him down from the chains. Once his arms are free from the chains, he pulls me into his body, crushing me with a tight hug. “Thank you, Z.”
“Yeah, let’s get out of here. I can’t stand the thought of being here anymore.” Pulling away from him, my eyes fall to the lifeless bodies of the three men I fell in love with, who shattered my entire being.
Maybe it’s a curse to love me. I’ve killed every man I ever thought I loved. It started with Tommy, and now it ends with Ace, Theon, and Blais.
The clicking of a gun catches my attention, pulling my gaze back to Matt. “M-Matt… what are you doing?” My mouth falls open in surprise as he points the gun at my head.
“I can see it in your eyes, Zamira. You’re never going to believe me. Knowing you, you won’t let it go, and I’m going to end up behind bars. I can’t let that happen. I can’t let you out of here.” He’s looking at me with malice, but I can’t argue with what he said, because the doubt of his innocence is at the front of my mind. I probably would turn him in the moment we got out of here.
I take a step backward, my foot slipping in a puddle of blood, causing me to fall to one knee. “B-but… you said we’re family.”
“We are, but I have to protect myself.” His words are an exact replica of what I’ve been saying to myself since I shot Ace.
I knew I shouldn’t have trusted him.
I’m sure as hell not letting this traitor kill me without putting up a fight. Lunging at him, I crash into his stomach, knocking us both to the ground. I’ve trained with Matt for three years. I know all of his fighting tactics which gives me an edge knowing exactly what he’ll do next. With as much power as I can, I land punch after punch to his already destroyed face.
Matt’s arm comes up, the hard metal of the gun slamming into the side of my head. My vision blurs, making my body sway as dizziness engulfs me. I should have an advantage over him since he’s the one that’s been chained up and beaten, but he’s still strong as hell.
He grabs my shoulders, forcefully flipping us over. His hand wraps around my throat, cutting off my air as he holds the barrel of the gun under my chin.
“I can’t let you destroy me, Z.”
My eyes water, my lungs burn, and my legs flail, trying to get away from him, but nothing works. He’s too strong.
My body is giving out, shutting down from the lack of oxygen.
My best friend isn’t who I thought he was. I made a huge mistake letting him go. I made a huge mistake from ever trusting him in the first place. Now, I’m going to die here alongside the three psychos that stole my heart. Maybe it’s fate. Maybe I was meant to die by their side.
I’m dying in this basement today because of my stupid pride. Because of my need to believe the man who I’ve called my best friend for the last three years wasn’t actually a monster.
