AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The blood means the pain is gone.
The blood means I survived another night.
I keep repeating it to myself over and over again. Anytime I taste blood, that means it’s over. The pain is gone. I remember him telling me after the first time he beat me, that he’d stop when I could taste my blood. I think he was drunk when he said it, but since that day, he’s always stuck to his word. When I taste blood, he always stops. Not sure why, but he does.
The delicious copper liquid fills my mouth and I can’t help but feel my entire body relaxing. Blood is my favorite thing in the world to taste. It’s a reminder that I get a moment of peace because the asshole stops beating on me. At least for the night.
“Get to bed, you fucking bastard, and stay in there all night or it will be your mom who gets my fist next.” He yanks my head down aggressively so I fall to the ground with my side smacking the corner of the coffee table in the exact spot he kicked me earlier, shooting pain through me. He steps over me going back to the couch where he’ll pass out for the night.
I scramble to my feet as best as I can and make my way to my room smacking into a couple walls on my way there due to my exhaustion.
Now I just have to wait for my least favorite part.
She’ll be coming in soon. It’s what she always does.
I doze off for a moment, I think. My head feels heavy, exhausted from the beating Kenny gave. I’m honestly not sure how long it’s been, but I hear my door creak open.
“Honey, are you still awake?” she softly whispers. She sniffles before closing the door behind her, letting me know the water works have already started.
“Yeah.” It’s all I can say right now, because even talking hurts with how sore my body is.
“I’m so sorry, Blais. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.” She sits on my bed and gently touches my cheek. She scoots her body further next to me as she leans against the headboard and cradles me in her arms.
A hiss escapes me from the pain of her moving my body. I don’t want to be touched, but it makes her feel better. She runs her hands through my hair, rocking me back and forth. I don’t make an effort to move or wrap my arms around her like she does to me.
I hate it when my mom holds me like this. I hate her gentle touches. They’re almost worse than the kicks and punches he lands on me. The way she tries to soothe me makes me even more mad.
Nothing she could ever do would make it better. All I want to do is die or run away, but I’m too chicken shit to go through with it. Every single day, I feel like my world is ending, and every single day, I wait for the taste of blood to come to let me know I’ll see another day.
I know she can’t do anything, but what little she does fills me with rage. She should leave him. Call the cops. Run. Do something! She should save me and Jett.
She always says she will. She tells me that it won’t happen again, that we’re packing up and leaving the next day. But it never happens.
All her promises are just false hope.
I’ve learned to not believe her anymore.
She’s dependent on him just like he is on her. She’ll never leave. She’ll let him kill her before she’d ever think of getting rid of him.
“Please, Blais, say something. Say you forgive me. Please,” she begs me to give her what she wants, but I’m not sure I can this time. I’m tired. It all hurts. It will never stop. Always a cycle that will never end.
“Mom, please leave.” Tears try to escape my eyes, but I push them back. I won’t cry. I’ll never give him that satisfaction.
“Blais,” she says in a whimper as her hold on me tightens. My heart twists at the pain in her voice, but I quickly push it away.
“Please, Mom. Just go. I want to be alone.”
She lets out a silent sob, but lets me go as she places a soft kiss on my head, leaving me there alone. “It won’t happen again. I promise.” I hear her say before the click of the door echoes through the silent room.
There it is. The promise she never keeps.
“Blais?”
A soft voice reaches my ears before I remember I’m not back in that shitty fucking house with that monster. My chest heaves up and down as I have Zamira pinned against the wall, gripping her arms so tight I can already see the bruises forming.
“Blais!” She raises her voice this time and I shake my head trying to focus on what I’m doing.
Taking a step back, I drop my hands from her body. The way she softly put her hands on me triggered me, putting me back at my mother’s home. Reminding me of the beatings and false promises that happened inside those walls. The place where I became the monster I am today.
