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When I’m done cleaning up the mess, I sit back on my heels, giving him a soft smile. I never would’ve thought I’d enjoy giving a blow job, but honestly, I can’t get enough of this man.
He stands in front of me and bends down, sliding his boxers back up before grabbing his shirt and placing it over my head. I’m wrapped in his scent and I love it.
"Angel, come here.” He grabs my arms, pulling me to his chest, causing us to fall back onto the bed. It’s clear we both want to take the next step, but I did ask him to take it slow with me and he’s respecting that decision. My body presses against his side, and I wrap my leg over him.
Running his fingers through my hair, he presses a soft kiss to my temple. He makes me feel so loved and special; I’m fully at peace right now. “I want this forever, angel. You’re incredible. You’re everything I’ve been missing.” His tone is soft and caring.
I arch my head back so I can see him, and I stretch up slightly to press a kiss to his lips, silently telling him that I feel the exact same way.
Though I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’m terrified by this. Our relationship scares the shit out of me—it feels like it’s moving fast, and I can’t help but worry that something will tear us apart again.
Idraw lazy circles across his torso with my fingers. His warm skin beneath my hand grounds me in this new reality. That we finally get to be together outside the confines of that prison we’d both been trapped in.
His breathing becomes deep and relaxed, as he mindlessly runs his fingers up and down my spine. I feel his mind working without even looking at him.
“Grey?”
“Yes, angel?” His voice is raspy, but tender.
God, his voice.
“Do you ever wish things could’ve been different?”
“Every damn day of my life,” he says simply.
“I do too, but it makes me wonder if things were different and our paths never crossed, would we still have this? What if we’d never met? ” A small tear rolls down my face, landing on his chest. I hate that thought.
He shifts beneath me, bringing his free hand underneath my chin tilting it up so we lock eyes. “Don’t cry, angel. These beautiful tears aren’t meant to be wasted on what ifs. Not a day goes by that I don’t wish I could have stopped it all. I wish that you’d never been taken by my father in the first place, but also the sick, selfish part of me couldn’t imagine things being different, because we probably wouldn’t be here if they were.” The adoration and pain in his voice sends goosebumps down my spine. I can tell his feelings about the past are fighting a war in his head.
“I just... People say that things happen the way they’re supposed to, but it was misery. The worst depths of hell. That place was awful. These last nine years were torture. I don’t regret the fact that we met, I just hate the reason for it. I’m not sure I’ll ever be the same. I’m not the same girl I was back then, and I’m not sure if you’ll be able to love the new Lainey. ”
Greyson tenses beneath me and I wonder if I just ruined our tender moment.
“Tell me what you went through. Please. I need to know, Lainey.” I feel his heart racing frantically inside his chest as I contemplate what I’m going to say.
“At first, it wasn’t as bad as being at your father’s. Harvey would be kind, making us feel like it wasn’t going to be that bad, trying to gain our trust. But I didn’t buy into his bullshit. No normal man buys a bunch of children just to be a nice guy. Some girls believed him, but I tried my hardest to show them the truth. As time went on, he introduced us to Madame. Once we were moved to the second location, that’s when he got meaner and scarier.” My voice is shaky, laced with memories of the pain I went through.
“Madame? Who’s Madame?” Greyson asks curiously.
“Uh, she was like our house mother. She’d prep us for our scheduled appointments and teach us how to act like proper women, how to be submissive.”
“She helped him? This woman helped him do this to you?” His grip tightens around me, and his breath quickens. Anger’s rising inside of him at the thought of someone else helping Harvey break me.
“She did, but I don’t think she did it willingly. Harvey treated her terribly too. There’s no telling what he did to her behind closed doors. He was a monster to us when we were alone with him, so I imagine it was the same for her. I don’t feel like she really chose to be there, but rather she was a prisoner, just like the rest of us.” Madame had her faults, but she’d been one of the better parts of being in that house. She was kind, tender, and always took care of us, even when it angered Harvey.
“Once we were properly trained, Harvey said we were ready to start making money for him. He reminded us that we were just objects of pleasure, nothing more than a warm hole, a tight pussy for a man to fill and get his fix. We were to be quiet, to let the men do whatever they wanted, as long as any marks were able to be covered by clothing.”
Greyson’s entire body is tense beneath me.
“The first time I went out, I was thirteen. The man I met with was an influential politician who likes his girls young and naive. He took me to a fancy hotel room, tied me to the bed, and blindfolded me. Then he took his belt and whipped me twenty-seven times. Some hits landed across my back, some across my ass, others on my upper thighs. I remember crying so much that he put a gag in my mouth to shut me up. Once he was done whipping me, he removed the binds from my hands, had me kneel in front of him and take him in my mouth. He held my head down on his cock for so long that I was seconds from fainting from lack of oxygen. After that, the rest was a blur. I forced myself to think of anything else, to take my mind far away from the torment that was happening. After that, most nights were the same. Men leaving their trace all over my body, pushing me to my limits, and breaking me apart piece by piece until there was nothing left to give.”
I can’t believe I just told him that. It just came out of me so easily. Since I’ve been back, I haven’t even really opened up to Lya in detail about what happened to me. Unexpected tears are rolling down my face as I relive it all. Greyson remains silent beneath me, but that’s okay. Sometimes you just need someone to listen.
“So many times, I thought about ending my life. It felt like a better option than the hell I was living through, but I just couldn’t do it. I could feel something inside telling me to keep going, to not give up. So instead, I’d drink away the pain. I would wash down my misery with whiskey, anytime a john took me out. Every time, I would beg them to give me something to numb the feelings, and almost every time they let me. It was the only way I could make it through.” I’m full on sobbing at this point, letting my tears fall across Greyson’s chest.
Finally shifting out from beneath me, he stands from the bed, leaving me cold and alone again. His chest heaves up and down.
“Fuck, Lainey. How can you even look at me? How can you even stand to be in the same room as me? I’m worthless. You never would’ve been put through that if it weren’t for me.” He pulls at his hair, pacing back and forth in the room, staring blankly at the floor.
